Gallivanter

And this is it, my final Bali lallation before I conclude the chapter on my rattling escapade and boomerang back to reality. I acknowledge that I’ve not been keeping in touch with some of you as I regularly do. I don’t know, perhaps Bali has metamorphosed me in more ways than one. No, it doesn’t mean that I’m now AC/DC, wokay?. Still DC as ever! LOL! It’s just that I’m taking a break from it all. Normal service shall resume soon. 

DAY 4 – it was an overcast morning, accompanied by very light rain shower (akin to someone’s who’s tattling to you and can’t keep his saliva to himself..). We had continental breakfast (same old same old), and left at 9am to embark on our first stopover which was to the South of where we were. The circumnavigation took approximately 55 minutes. The tour cost 400,000 rupiah which was just under RM190 for the van and the driver for 10 hours – anywhere we wanted to go. A bargain if you ask me.

Our first destination – ULUWATU. This temple (or Pura in Indon) is situated on the cliffs with a breathtaking yet daunting eyeshot of the ocean. Nothing short of dramatic. As you can see from the photos, it was a sight to behold. The entrance fee only cost 1000 rupiah, approx RM0.40. As luck would have it both myself and Ravind were in our long pants else we would’ve been compelled to don a sarong, which will surely give a new meaning to SPG – Sarong Party Guys. Hahahaha!

We were forewarned by the ticket dude that the monkeys in Uluwatu are a very brazening lot and will take anything off you. Even the shades on your face and earrings! Yikes! Hence, I became angelical for an hour and removed my earring (last time I did this was back in APIIT college – yes, they were monkeys too..LOL). The heat was unendurable and we started sweating bucketfuls that could’ve easily glutted the entire Klang Valley in 5 minutes. Aiyaiyai! It puzzles me how this scorching heat enchants the Iteys Whiteys.

There were a congregation of monkeys there alright, from Alex Ferguson to Jose Mourinho…and there were emphatically a few Drogbas too. Hahahaha! I was grateful that the sweltering heat got to them too as they weren’t monkeying around like they’re supposed to. Hmmm…monkey brains anyone? LOL!

Anyway, the view was spectacular, and we combed just about 1.5 km in length under the scorching sun, drenched in perspiration. We snapped a couple of shots before making like a banana and splitting the scene. We left Uluwatu for a 40-minute drive to Denpasar, where we iced ourselves off in the BALI MALL for an hour.

We then straggled over to Pasar Sukawati for some shopping and whatnot. We arrived at the market approximately 30 minutes and vagabonded around for 2 hours. I purchased an oil painting (with wooden-crafted frame) for only RM35. It was a steal. The rule of thumb here is to negotiate 20% from the original price. If they quoted 100,000 rupiah, ask for 20,000 rupiah and seal the deal at 30,000. We became the bargaining Don Juans for one day. Wood sculptures are quite low-priced too, and pareos were as low as 20,000 rupiah, which was around RM5. OLE!

After an oil painting, a wood carving, 2 pareos, 5 bracelets and 40 keychains later, we steered to our next stop. The driver, then confabulated about the hindu cremation rights after we drove pass a funeral procession. Manifestly, it costs RM60,000 just to cremate 1 body! So, because of their economic situation, some wait as long as 10 years, to get a group of “bodies” to cremate so the price becomes reasonable. Hmmmm…looks like a good business opportunity that might just help reduce people to ashes. We could have a promotion like burn 1 body, next body 50% discount. I’m sure it’ll be a combusting success. (excuse the pun).

We made a nimble layover at a local handicraft gallery, took some pictures and scrambled on to the final destination, Tanah Lot, which was more or less 30 minutes away. My friend who is also an avid Arsenal fan like me, Ravind, wanted to sample “Babi Guling” (or “Rolling Pig” in direct translation) and I courteously passed up his offer of joining him on this (yucky) delicacy. I don’t consume pork at all you see. So for the next 20 minutes, Ravind jawed away on his rolling pig, and I steered away from the funky aroma. I watched the dude turn into a Liverpool supporter for the next 20 minutes (LOL!). Funny though, I thought Liverpudlians do not eat their own kind? Hahahaha! You’ll never wank alone. Stupid song for a boring team. Perfect combination.

Tanah Lot was magnificent, we arrived at 4:30pm, lallygagged around for 1.5 hours, looking at more shopping items, which I became a casualty of, bought a Bali t-shirt (70′s design – see tanah lot pics), a faddish mini handbag (for my helpmate), a unique retro-looking food cover (for her parents – they loved it btw), and a head-scarf thingy. Cue 6pm, we coggled into Tanah Lot, was spellbound by the gorgeous setting, took a dozen or so photos, chilled at a restaurant on top of the cliff with “Have a Nice Sunset” as its tag line, sipped coconut water (good for your daughter – daughter is colloquial for balls…hahahahaha!), and blazed out of Tanah Lot approx 7pm.

We stopped over @ Hard Rock on the way back and reached the hotel just in time to catch Chelsea pummel Manure 3-0. We jubilantly applauded and cheered on Wayne Rooney’s departure with a mug of Bali Hai, switched off the TV and aviated off to the hottest club on a Saturday night – KAMASUTRA. WOW! The balinese babes that I encountered was out of this world. No, they’re not fugly like ET or any of the STAR TREK bozos, they were drop dead beautiful.

DAY 5 – we left Bali with a heavy heart, pledging to ourselves to conquer this mammoth island again in the near future, and hopefully, bring the women we love for some aquaticses, dolphin-watching, snorkelling and volcano-treading and cultural tours. We’ll be back. Here’s to holding on to NEVER SAY GOODBYE.