The Gallivantings of Daniel Franklin Gomez

Finally, after 28 years of existence, I had my first experience of watching a movie alone! Yup, just thought I’d give it a shot. It’s not as bad as it sounds, though the current Carlsberg cinema advert is intended for loners. I watched OVER THE HEDGE @ Sunway Pyramid, 9pm show, Tuesday 23rd May 06. 

At last, I’ve found a place where I could jape aloud alone and not a single mortal would think that I’m half-baked. On second thought, the other patrons were more half-baked, more like dumb dumbs – laughing at lilliputian slapstick stuff. This movie never had much substance to begin with, it’s an animation for crying out loud. It attempted too hard to enrapture, and bombed. I think I may have enjoyed it with some company – thus brings me to the ratiocination – when watching “FUN” movies, don’t watch it alone.

Spur of the moment, I also purchased THE DA VINCI CODE ticket at the same time I collected my OVER THE HEDGE slab. When OVER THE HEDGE ceased at 10:30pm, I snuck out to STARBUCKS for some hot caramel coffee. Within 5 minutes, I became a drone. I knew I needed the coffee to keep me going for DA VINCI @ 11pm.

THE DA VINCI CODE? Bad acting. Tom Hanks flunked, I don’t know who the casting director was but he/she needs to be bitch slapped. It’s nothing like the book obviously. They jampacked so much information that it will leave you constipated yet discombobulated. GO READ THE BOOK! There were some critical bits of the movie that was playacted like a bad Steven Seagal flick. I chuckled uninvitedly, and so did the rest of the moviegoers.

There was this Nigerian buffoon and his foreign piglet behind me who were gassing throughout the movie. I just turned around and muted the boofheads. You come to our country, selling cabbaged watches, and you think it gives you the right to babble like the squawks that you are? Come on! Go home and screw your friend or something. I almost lost my cool. Bloody drongos!

On top of that, there was this Ah Beng a few rows in front, who hollered “WALAUWEH!” when Robert Langdon solved the 3 questions Leigh Teabing posed to him before entering Teabing’s domicile. That bengster needs a dictionary hurled at his blonde head! There were lots of hanging bits in the movie. To those of you who prefer the movie to the book, you must have a pitiful imagination…

Like I have said a gazzillion times, should’ve given DENNIS QUAID the ROBERT LANGDON role. If you read the book, I bet you’ll get the same notion too. Who knows, they might make a movie out of Dan Brown’s second book, ANGELS & DEMONS, though they have to do 3 things, replace has-been Tom Hanks with Dennis Quaid, give JJ Abram (of Lost) the Director’s role, and alter the part where Robert Langdon leaps out of an exploding helicopter with a giant-sized handkerchief. Bollocks to that!

OVER THE HEDGE: 6/10
THE DA VINCI CODE: 5/10