WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay
A Year Ago
- 2007: Why Do People?
Random Posts
Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed.
May 8th, 2007 at 12:54pm
actually womens english is a bit more complicated ;p u only have the basics
heck each degree of change in a smile has a meaning ;p
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 1:22pm
DUDE!!!!
u got it all wrong..!!!
Mens English :
1 to 10 : let’s have sex now
11 : i’m a little confused abt my gender status..
visithra:
yeah, like we don’t know that..
haiyoooo.. be lar simple like us..
yes.. men are simple,
s.i.m.p.l.e.
-cheers-
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 1:28pm
LOL! See? You made me splatter my coffee all over my LCD monitor again. By the way, since you are not married, let me give you the married woman’s version :
MRRIED WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I demand
5. I am sorry = You are dead.
6. We need to talk = You are dead.
7. Sure, go ahead = You are dead.
8. Do what you want = You are dead.
9. I am not upset = You are oh so dead.
10. You’re very attentive tonight = Don’t bug me. I am very dead.
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 2:28pm
well, we are men alright.lolz
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 2:56pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA hahahaheheee
good one.
wombat: good one too…. so true wan..
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 3:08pm
Daddy, you’re so bias!
But somehow, there’s A LOT of truth behind your post. LOL! I tend to say “maybe” when my bf asked questions, but actually I meant it as a “yes”.
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 3:45pm
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 4:45pm
Hello! Thanks for the birthday wish.
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 4:45pm
See, women are more complexed creatures. It is an art form to be able to master their language. Men however, only have 2 things on their mind, Tsk Tsk.
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 4:51pm
Cindy : Daddy tak bias…
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 7:41pm
What a coincidence! I just emailed you this:
Men Are Hard To Please
> The problems with GUYS:
>
> If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with
> him;
> If u Don’t, he says u are PROUD.
> If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
> If u Don’t, he says u are from KAMPUNG(village).
> If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
> If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
> If u are SMARTER than him, he’ll lose FACE;
> If he’s Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
> If u don’t Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
> If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true
> huh?)
> If u don’t make love with him., he says u don’t Love
> him;
> If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
> If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are
> TROUBLESOME;
> If u don’t, he says that u don’t TRUST him.
> If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
> If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
> If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
> If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
> If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
> If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
> If u do WELL in your exams, he says it’s LUCK;
> If he does WELL! , it’s BRAINS.
> If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
> If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
> & sooo hard to please!!!!!
> If u send this to guys, they will swear that it’s
> not true…….
> but if u don’t, they say u are selfish…..
> The moral of the story is…….SEND THIS TO GUYS
> OUT THERE ANYWAY… Send it to girls also, gives
> them some laughter ………….
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 8:09pm
this look interesting.
may i know this somehware
-net worm
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 8:30pm
It’s just hormones lahh for us… God HAD give us PMS because you men, who just couldn’t help listening to us when you shouldnt have (In that case, Adam listened to Eve and then, punished Eve with PMS)
I like the last one, nice shoes is so gay!
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 10:17pm
Wombat: LOL!!!!
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 10:19pm
haha great one!
so girls.. next time you hear a question from men..
interpreted as “i’d Like to have sex with you”
coz it mostly means tat~
lolx
[Reply]
May 8th, 2007 at 10:53pm
visithra I’m afraid that may be a little too much for us to remember. LOL.
vickna That’s not a little confused man, that’s gay. Hehehehe!
Wombat Wow, hence the saying is true, “A man is not complete until he’s married, and after that, he’s finished.”
yipguseng Love us or hate us.
Mo All the more reason to stay single, though married life doesn’t look complicated if every meaning result in you being dead. LOL.
cindy Damn it, Wombat has beaten me to it. Hopefully your bf’s reading this so he get a heads up.
Dee Do you know the lambada? LOL.
earthy emily You’re welcome. Don’t be a stranger.
Sha 3 things - alcohol, sex and football. LOL.
Jemima I’ve read that before. Thanks for sharing.
exinco Me no understand.
Lex PMS - Pre Marital Sex ka?
Aileen_g Not all men think of sex, only 95% do, the rest have joined priesthood. Hahahaha!
[Reply]
May 15th, 2007 at 3:51am
haha this is hilarious and totally true!!! you men…only want to get in out pants
[Reply]
May 15th, 2007 at 11:52am
azza Well, those in their early 20s I suppose.
[Reply]