Gays and Lesbians in Society
SharePosted on 22. May, 2007 by Gallivanter in Thoughts
I was chatting with coffeerox a couple of weeks ago, and we were talking about massage treatments, and somehow came to the topic of gays and lesbians. The question she posed, was, “Why is it both men and women accept lesbians as part of society, but not gays?”
A good question. I’m throwing this to the floor as I myself don’t know how to answer that one. LOL.
clement
May 22nd, 2007
is it? i duno lesbo are acceptable…
tihtahpah
May 22nd, 2007
i second that!
bless the gays though. they make yumcha sessions more fun coz they share!
Izad
May 22nd, 2007
Lesbian ride superbikes and give great dinner parties?
huei
May 22nd, 2007
um..i dun discriminate any!! hehehe
but i agree..seems like lesbian are more acceptable..hmmm
visithra
May 22nd, 2007
no i think its the men who cant accept gays – most women r ok with either way – we all have our gay friends – but how many guys have gay friends? ;p
Gallivanter
May 22nd, 2007
clement Yup.
tihtahpah Gays are alright.
Izad Dinner parties? Where where? LOL
huei It’s nothing to do with discrimination, it still lingers in the back of our minds.
visithra Nah, women subconsciously feel sorry for gays, that’s the only reason why they accept them. Do you feel the same for lesbians?
Jason
May 22nd, 2007
Errm, because not many people can take it? You know, balls banging balls and stuffs like that? LOL. At lesbian, one can use a fake one.
conan_cat
May 22nd, 2007
hmm… i’m gay and i have a couple of str8 frenz, boys and girls alike, they’re all my classmates or coursemates or my ex-classmates blah blah and they’re all cool about it.
personally, i think if you’re a nice person that don’t gossip or act too drama in any way, it’s fine with people generally, even guys or girls. esp. if they know you for a long time and they know that you’re a good guy, they won’t matter if you’re gay or not.
speaking from experience.
girls like gays as much as how guys love lesbo… hey it’s a fantasy thing
i know a girl who’s very, very into guy/guy love comics and novels. and i know guys who loves to watch lesbo porn. how bout that?
Tommy
May 22nd, 2007
I have 3 gay friends. Initially I wasn’t able to accept them but after knowing them more as a friend, I find that they are just normal human being like everyone else.
As for lesbians being accepted, I think it’s because guys couldn’t accept the sight of two guys being intimate and 2 lesbians embracing each other looks good to them.
What say u?
visithra
May 22nd, 2007
Lol no we don’t u guys just assume that – for men it actually boils down to sex – lesbians – ure thinking can I join in for a threesome – gays – the mental image is enough to give u nightmares ;p
go on confess now ;p
Gallivanter
May 22nd, 2007
Jason Hahahahaha!
conan_cat Well, I know a lot of ladies who are not comfy with gay intimacy but are okay with lesbians. Explain that.
Tommy Gays are fine, it’s how society perceive them. Even girls can’t accept 2 guys being intimate, and the person that asked me this question is a woman.
visithra No we don’t. It’s a fact. I’ve drilled a few girls about this – they said the same thing. It’s nothing to do with threesome.
KY
May 22nd, 2007
I guess guys feel less threatened by lesbians?
ducky
May 22nd, 2007
I guess whenever anyone mentions gays and lesbians, the first thing that pops up are porn and maybe Queer Eye for the Straight Guy ! Given porn and Queer Eye never existed, the transvestite looks comes into mind, take that away as well, we would be clueless as to what gays and lesbian do. And when we are clueless we wont be so judgemental.
Pinkelle
May 22nd, 2007
Really?! I thought it was the other way around! I used to see a lot of gay guys overseas, sometimes kissing at the bus stop and everyone looked pretty blase about it but not lesbians!
Gallivanter
May 22nd, 2007
KY Hmmm…I don’t think so…
ducky Is that the case?
Pinkelle LOL. Which part of the world is this?
Clare
May 22nd, 2007
Well, IMHO, it depends on the way one is being brought up and the different perspectives that he/she is exposed to. Some people accept them and some do not. This is kind of a subjective topic. Personal likings, I must say.
Somehow at the end of the days, the gays and lesbians are still a part of the society. They are still human, like you and me. We just have to accept that as a reality whether we like it or not. It’s a totally different world we are living in now, a lot of people are accepting them already. They are still nice people, no?
Wombat
May 22nd, 2007
Clare is right. Lets say you have a colleague or friend you know for more than 20 years. You never have a clue that he may be gay. One day he comes out and say he’s a gay. How does a man react? Very negatively for some, while others may ask “So?”
If the man has been brought up being told that being a gay is no-no, he will react negatively. Otherwise he will say what’s the big deal?
It also tie in to the subject of race. I for one would like to say it here that the problem of race in this country is entirely the fault of parents and blood sucking parasites that have their own political agenda. If 5 kids are brought up never exposed to racial stereotype and negative influence from their parents you think the five kids are going to care if their friends are black, yellow or white?
Gallivanter
May 22nd, 2007
Clare Yes, of course they’re humans, I’m not discrediting them at all, just wanted to know on why the majority of society accept lesbians more than gays, and I’m not talking on the basis of friendship. It could well be the upbringing. Good comment. Thanks.
Wombat Well, I think it’s easy to blame one’s parents for everything, though they do have a great influence on the child’s mentality. Asian mindset perhaps?
tihtahpah
May 22nd, 2007
i think gays and lesbians just add flavour to the society
Lady Stiletto in a Suit
May 22nd, 2007
Who says gays are not accepted in society these days?..and who says lesbos are accepted?? They’re normal sights to behold these days what..except that I still have my bias view towards lesbos. Not that i despise them as part of society or think of them as less cool, but i am just very “kegelian” whenever i see a lesbo couple. It just makes me chuckle to death-till-I-maggot to see them together. Just that. Nothing negative. As for gays…just because they’re of the opposite gender than i am, I think they’re cool people. Just so sad, gays are actually the most handsome and beautiful people around…if i didn’t know they’re just interested in guys, I would be so falling in love with them. Hahahahaha.
By the way, how do these people enjoy sex ah?..masuk lubang sini sana kah? How naive me is…
Lady Stiletto in a Suit
May 22nd, 2007
By the way, did i keluar topic Uncle Dodo? I can’t read notes as it is, you must know.
Yvy
May 22nd, 2007
i dunno la….good question as i too have asked many of my fren this but never really got a good answer. hoping to get something out of this here.
for me, i personally feel like it’s SUCH a waste la since some of the gay men are so dahsyat looking. lol dunno whether within context or not but heck, i’m just bi-curious coz i know for sure if any lesbos come n approach me, i’d be running the other way! LOL with gays, i’m safe. heh.
xin
May 22nd, 2007
Well, I have witness friends of mine french kissed, they were a gay couple. I somehow find the image quite disturbing. This image sometimes replays in my head! gosh i can’t get it off my mind
marsha
May 22nd, 2007
Hhhhmmm….good question. I have nothing against gays and lesbians, really. It’s an inborn thing, to me. But you’re right, I think if I was asked (which I am in this instance, huh?) Lebians are more acceptable. Don’t know why…maybe coz I expect men to be macho-macho-men and when they’re not, it is a bummer and then I get a bit eeky if I have to watch them…erm…do their thing.
nyx
May 22nd, 2007
I always thought it’s because of the ‘main belakang’ thing.. that and the fact that two nude women going at it is a lot more arousing then two naked men doing the rumpy thumpy.
Also stereotypical images of gay women and strong butch-type personas whereas gay men are effeminate. Society is more accepting of assertive women compared to ‘na’, pondan-y men.
Lucifer
May 22nd, 2007
reason why people look at lesbians and gays as mentioned… the cause to all this was brought about by religion … the priests are to be blamed
but without the influence of religion then its not really a biggie…end of the day they are all still human and entitled to whatever carnal preferences they want 
papajoneh
May 22nd, 2007
i have a very good friend since school time which end up being gay… no change, i still like being friend with him. in fact he shared his story too. Most of them are really really friendly.
papajoneh
May 22nd, 2007
I never met lesbian though. not that lucky
Kay Kastum
May 22nd, 2007
Ya lah. It’s all about fantasy end of the day I believe…
Gallivanter
May 22nd, 2007
tihtahpah Flavour? Like durians?
Lady Stiletto LOL. Thanks, so one lady in favor of gays over lesbians. Interesting.
Yvy Looks like it may not be answered. Chances of solving that Darwyn’s chicken vs egg theory is higher, and I did that already a couple of entries ago.
xin Nooooooooo! *JUMPS OFF THE BUILDING*
marsha Just the feedback I was looking for, thanks Marsha!
nyx Wow, you know what, I think you got this one spot on!
Lucifer Oh satan, I hope you’re still talking about human mating.
Why do people listen to priests anyway?
papajoneh Well, yes, I’ve met quite a few in my lifetime. LOL. I like your second comment.
Kay Kastum Hmmm, it’s possible…
Rudy
May 22nd, 2007
I remember when I was still a little wet behind the ears when it came to what life was about, it made me feel very weird whenever I saw a lesbian or gay couple. Curious because I wonder how the “parts” fit but regardless weird. Before leaving for the US which broke…no…shattered any misconception that I had associated with homosexuality, the only exposure I had was from what I heard, taught in Church and the trannies I saw who flaunted their “revised Va-J Js” from “Boom Boom Room” Curious yet weirded out, but I guess it quite understandable since the sources of information was from extremely different outlets.
The US opened my eyes…I met many gay and lesbian couples and even though “Queer as Folk” ( Luuuv the show) sort of shocked me from weird but curious to totally fascinated by the “male bonding ritual” (for my own personal reasons ;P ), I realized that just as hetrosexuals may indulge in a one night stand or a loving relationship so do homosexuals, only difference the parts fit differently.
This is my journey to my current realizations…
I explain this journey to point out that how we see things has a direct relation to what we know or learn.
1) If a guy is weirded out by a gay couple is probably because they are weirded out by something going up their ass. No one grows up with the concept “By the way, your butt is not just an exit hole, it actually can be an entry way” And we all know what a bitch it is when we are trying to let go during a constipation…ugggggg.
Anyone who has no idea that despite the fact that it excretes all our leftovers, for men the root of the penis is sensitive and can be stimulated through the perineum or the rectum and is just one reason that anal penetration feels pleasurable to many men. If there is a Biological explanation for it just like how a womans “clit” is the spot then the only thing that is blocking them from seeing the “Man ritual” is not being able to adjust to the fact that anal sex for men is actually pleasurable.
Ironically there are men who wants to engage with”Anal copulation” with women…and there are women who don’t even want to deal with it…but there are women who actually said it was an acquired taste. PERCEPTION
2) Since I have discussed a lot about perception, the only comment I would like leave is…if two beautiful women are making out…there are drool from here to timbuktu with explosions like it is Pearl Harbor bombing re-enacted…not all lesbians are Porn beautiful, there are normal looking women who are homosexual…there are some that are a combination of a Tomboy and a feminine…imagine that…Do you still think that is beautiful or easier on the eyes?
So why is it gays are more of a taboo than women? PERCEPTION
Lex
May 23rd, 2007
In the end of the day, they are humans too with feelings just like us. I think they all deserve to be respected equally
Gallivanter
May 23rd, 2007
Rudy I read bits and pieces and I understand where you’re coming from. Just didn’t need to go into graphic details about the anal stuff.
Lex Wow, thanks for pointing that out…you smart…
Tine
May 23rd, 2007
I have homophobic colleagues who would shudder at and slam down male homosexuals, but fantasise about gay women, especially when they’re *ahem* part of the fantasy too.
I’ve seen both parties in action, and honestly, it doesn’t bother me. It really is how an individual would perceive them to be. It’s not a “OMG, he’s gay, or she’s a lesbian, ooooh”, that kinda thing. At the end of the day, they’re still people, whom, like everyone else, deserve their due respect.
Lucifer
May 23rd, 2007
i agree with what Lex said…yeha oh great Gallivanter i was talking about mating
xin
May 23rd, 2007
what do you say.. when you wake up one day, u go into toilet and found lub and domdom lying on the shelf? when you have been suspecting the 2 guy housemates staying next to your room…devastating u know!
coffeerox
May 23rd, 2007
This is crazy! To know I ‘inspired’ all this and wasn’t part of the dicussion! hehehe…
Personally, I don’t really have issues with gays and lesbians… have a few friends.. more gays now since my lez friends and I all departed after school… I even had a girl after me… which made things very interesting for my BF cos he knew about it… hahaha…
From a religious point of view, well it is uncomfortable… but from a ‘all part of life’s tapestry’ perspective, well they do add flavour… my gay friends LOVE to advice me about my choice of men and my sense of fashion… even when you don’t want it. And they always say – you know I luv you right?
but seriously… the whole anal thing does bother me a bit… so as long as the boys keep their romp tales private, we have a great friendship. Tho sometimes they are just bursting to tell…….. :-\
^__^
Gallivanter
May 23rd, 2007
Tine Okay thanks.
Lucifer I’m sure you do, that’s kinda stating the obvious, but I feel we should stop being politically/diplomatically correct for once…
xin Nooooooooooooooooo! *JUMPS OFF THE BUILDING*
coffeerox Finally, what took you so long?
coffeerox
May 24th, 2007
hey… some of us work ok…
hehehe…..
went for counselling… aparently, my doc says I need to get rid of my angelina jolie shrine… I am getting obsessed with her and if I don’t do something soon, I might start playing for the opposite team……
*__^
lexhooi
May 24th, 2007
i think society is changing…i dont mind lesbians or gays..in fact gays teach me a thing or two. what bothers me is there’s a blog of a self-confessed gay malaysian boy who said he was turned gay by a straight worker in a cyber cafe that he frequents.
Gallivanter
May 24th, 2007
coffeerox There’s a thing call efficient timekeeping.
Mmmmm….Angelina Jolie…mmmm
lexhooi Omigosh! Is that what’s happening at cybercafes these days?
coffeerox
May 24th, 2007
isn’t jolie like so freaking delicious!?
^__^
Gallivanter
May 24th, 2007
coffeerox Yes, I couldn’t agree more! Brad Pitt’s a lucky dude.
Bryan
May 25th, 2007
Why is it both men and women accept lesbians as part of society, but not gays. I’ll answer the 2nd part first. Actually I found that many of my male friends have no problem with gays but due to peer pressure, they have to act as if its not ok. Its an image thing. When you’re trying to be seen as an alpha male, you cannot afford to be seen as ’soft’. In fact you make fun of ’soft’ people just to strengthen the perception that you are unlike them. Its quite self serving actually, to feel better about oneself by hating other that are not like you.
On the straight male’s acceptance of gay females, that’s a fantasy thing. What’s a bed full of naked females? A harem. To the guy it doesn’t matter what the ladies are doing to each other because his focus is on the number of female genitals available. So again it serves his purpose.
Gallivanter
May 25th, 2007
Bryan Well said! Finally someone has answered my question and not throw diplomatic namby-pamby thoughts. Thanks Bryan!
Sultan_D
May 29th, 2007
In Malaysia, its not quite accepted, because by and large, it is a relatively conservative society. But this country is like a Russian doll. Theres so many layers. However, most of the action takes place in WP, which is gayer than San Francisco, and a walk down the catwalk at Jalan Bukit Bintang will prove that point. But thats changing very quickly, against the tide of a conservative government and religious establishment.
Back to the “Russian Doll” analogy. Malaysia is a multiracial society, and the contrasts between the cities and states are so stark there is no definite answer. Indians, Chinese, and Malays will have different outlooks, and experience.
The lifestyle possible in Kuala Lumpur cannot take place in Khota Bharu, and you’ll find a much higher level of acceptance in the Klang Valley than other regions.
Its also an unfortunate fact that the gay lifestyle is inherently riskier than the lesbian one, and that the education and harm reduction strategies that are taking place in Singapore are not happening in Malaysia, due to religious conservatism. If Malaysia does not wake up, legalise homosexual acts, allow education, and harm reduction strategies, it will pay dearly. Misleading publicity, shame and censorship will damage the entire country. Gay people are taxpayers as well.
These have been accepted International best practice in other developed nations since the 1980’s. If Malaysia wants to achieve the objectives of Wawasan 2020, it needs to follow that.
TooKool
Jun 19th, 2007
I’d rather watch two lesbos doing it than two gay men.Bisexual ladies are the best.
Days
Aug 30th, 2007
For me, I don’t mind seeing girls and girls or guys and guys.. Can’t really blame em for having feeling for the same species. Ala.. KL or anywhere else in the world, most of em accept what is going on between people’s interest.. Like Angelina Jolie.. She was a lesbo before with that.. wala wala jap girl.. And I’m Bi.. so?.. Err… know what.. I think I just lost my point somewhere there.. But yeah, I can accept both “species”. But Bryan, why must it be the guys point of view? Ever thought about what the girls might think, beside thinking that it is ok?