Jealousy Damages Relationships
SharePosted on 23. Aug, 2007 by Gallivanter in Thoughts
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We have all experienced this, though our reasons may vary. A wide range of emotions are involved – pain, anger, fear, blame, bitterness, ceaseless questioning and reassurances.
Jealousy is catastrophic to a relationship because it erodes trust and chokes the progression of love. If there are many constraints, should a couple even be together? Because it usually leads to fights where each other’s negative qualities is brought to the fore.
If you’re recovering from a previous relationship, you’ll need to deal with those issues first. Past experiences will leave you bitter if you don’t let go of your emotional baggage. If you have already been betrayed, you tend to be more possessive as you fear that history may repeat itself.
Use your past relationships as a beacon to measure how your behavior affected it. Focus on what is happening and not what you suspect is happening, else you won’t be able to differentiate fact from fiction.
It’s best that you establish guidelines as to what is acceptable for you, and share that between you. It’ll give you vindication for future flare-ups. It’s okay to feel jealous, but as long as it’s positively channeled. Sharing your insecurities with your partner gives the relationship a chance to grow to overcome the problem.
huei
Aug 23rd, 2007
everyone knows jealousy damages relationship..but it’s so hard to not get jealous! hehehehe i know i would be if some slut starts flirting with my bf eventhough i have full confidence in him x(
Sha
Aug 23rd, 2007
I hardly get jealous. Because it’s such a waste of time. When Lex and I first started out, he was really bothered by the fact that I don’t get jealous. To him not jealous = no love. I’m glad he got over that.
jefferi
Aug 23rd, 2007
jealousy is included in the packages of love. one cannot avoid it and have to face it. the different is how you handle your jealousy feelings. one tend not to show because of own pride but others seem to let it out like a raging bull. without jealousy is a problem too. one will wonder if he/she really loves him/her. so without it is a hazard to relationship too. YES! sharing one feeling and insecurity to each other positively is the right way to handle jealousy.
shana
Aug 23rd, 2007
jealousy is good sometimes in relationship but if it get too far ,it’ll jeapordise the relationship.jealous sikit2 ,cukuplah…:P
earthy emily
Aug 23rd, 2007
Hi! I’ve tagged you. Hehe
http://milai.blogspot.com/search/label/Tag%20Game
LadyBird
Aug 23rd, 2007
Hhmm gud advice & guidelines bt still hv d trauma of gtting involve in a r/ship…sudah jadi ati batu bah.. ;p
ethel
Aug 24th, 2007
From now onward, you shall be known as:
Dr. Love!!!
Jealousy is good also bah.. once a while. It keeps the spark going. But don’t go overboard la.
Gallivanter
Aug 24th, 2007
huei Though some say it’s healthy, well, to a certain MINOR degree yes I suppose.
Sha I’m afraid quite a few people think that way – not jealous means no love. I think of it as trust.
jefferi Unfortunately that is true. Thanks for sharing.
shana Spot on, but I think it’s a grey area with regards to the levels of jealousy.
earthy emily Yikes, me hate doing tags. I only do tags if it’s music-related. Sorry la.
LadyBird The only way to move forward is to embrace and overcome the trauma. It’s not easy, but hey, life is a challenge. Quitting should never be in one’s dictionary.
ethel Yikes! I’ll stick to Gallivanter thanks very much. LOL.
Olieee
Aug 25th, 2007
Yeah jealousy sucks. But why be jealouse when you can be free and do what he/she does? i mean if he goes out with another gal friends, why can you go out with another guy friend of yours? flirting is different with strong feelings, so don’t waste time being jealouse.
Gallivanter
Aug 25th, 2007
Olieee Jealousy revolves around self esteem. The lower a person’s self esteem is, the more jealous he/she can be.
Olie
Mar 20th, 2009
gosh… didn’t checked spellings on my comment post… I meant “why can’t…”
No wonder la… that explains it.. Thanks Dan! ho,ho,ho,ho…
Now I know! aha! Spot on man…
Charles
Apr 3rd, 2009
before I begin, nice site that you have here. lots of interesting topic up and about this site. though only this caught my attention (besides the “horny-couple” entry, heh..).
Anyways, from personal experience, I still find it hard to fully accept and trust a partner of the opposite gender. betrayal is definitely the worst kind of feeling that one can experience in a relationship (or so, I think..).
I had an ex once, was with her for 2 years. till one day, she told me that she had sex with a manager from her working place. and she had only been working for 2 days prior to the incident. This happened in the morning, and I took her out for lunch. her attire for that day was just a sweater and bra, that’s it (which I found odd, and till this day, I still curse myself for being so oblivious to it..). the only indication that something was wrong was the fact that she was tired and also, the appearance of seminal fluids on her sweater (which at that, I jokingly referred to as glue.. dumb..).
Only at night did the confesison came about, and when I heard it, my mind went blank. all I could remember was the fact that I threw her out of the house, and instructed my friend to drive her home to her place (oh, her stuff went out the window as well.. shoes, clothes, make-up stuff, etc..).
it was because of my dear ex that I am what I am now, I still find it very hard to trust my current girlfriends. most of the time, I will only be with them for the sake of sex. now I am currently seeing one girl (cute little thing, I might add..), but we argue all the time, because of me, and my distrust. even the simplest act of going out with friends to buy food will result in some tongue-lashing from me.
though this has nothing to do with jealousy, I myself get jealous when she’s out with her guy friends(or just simply scared). somehow, I know that I am not the only one who has had this experience, but I have yet to have any good advice on how to curb with this.
certainly would appreciate any advice, here or anywhere. it is only now that I truly want to cherish what I have with me, and I feel that it is unfair for her to be at the receiving end from all of this, because of what some stupid girl did to me in the past.