Long Distance Relationships
SharePosted on 03. Sep, 2007 by Gallivanter in Thoughts
Long Distance Relationships. Direful. Can you keep on loving someone if distance separates them? Absence makes the heart grow stronger or out of sight out of mind? I believe it all boils down to how BADLY you want it to work. True love can overcome anything.
Commitment. I’m reminded by a quote – that commitment is a HABIT and not an achievement. How true. Commitment is vital because it helps to withstand the trials and tribulations of time. It will keep your passion and fire burning to sustain the relationship.
Trust. I cannot stress again how important this is. Trust takes away doubt. Don’t give yourself away to insecurities, suspicions and impulses. Be true to each other with no hidden motives or agenda.
Honesty. There’s no 2 way about it. Be truthful to her about your thoughts and feelings – it will help maintain a healthy confidence level between the two of you. Avoiding conflict just to maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a little while, but you’ll end up feeling suppressed. The truth can hurt and be scary, but that’s an ingredient to a healthy relationship, where you can lay your cards on the table.
Communication. E-mail, phone calls, sms – ensures the communication remains open, let her know how you have been doing and thinking because it will make her feel like she’s there with you. It will make you feel close.
Patience. You have to be patient – focus on the positives of the relationship and never give up hope. Enjoy life! Just because she is away, it doesn’t mean you must turn into a zombie. You have your own life and purpose, with or without her. So live a little.
Being away from the one you love gives you the perfect opportunity to focus on yourself to grow as an individual. It will help reduce emotional insecurities. Try to seek your passion, get in touch with your creative side.
clement
Sep 3rd, 2007
it’s real hard to keep this… tried that before.. in the end, she have these conversation.. if we’re fated together…. we’ll be someday…
xin
Sep 3rd, 2007
I had a LDR for 4 years, i thought it would work out but it did not. It was really a waste of time. It became really sore when i only met him once or twice a year. I was as good as single. I promised myself never to go into a LDR ever again.
massy
Sep 3rd, 2007
it’s hard..well, confess: relationship is owez a failure for me hahahah. coz i dun trust ppl easily XD
vhanded
Sep 3rd, 2007
I dont know, I always want a relationship, but i never try the taste before.
Tine
Sep 3rd, 2007
Oh how I agree with you, that it really does come down to how badly you want the relationship to work, whether it’s long-distanced or not. It takes commitment from BOTH parties, not just one. And trust, can’t emphasise that enough. Never hold back from your partner, even if you think it’s better to keep the matter quiet for the fear of hurting him/her, because the more secrets you keep from each other, the more you’ll flushing the relationship down the loo.
I guess my LDR went pretty well. We just got married
pris
Sep 3rd, 2007
hey tine.. that’s cool!!.. i read from somewhere( i forgot where) that 82% of LDR would fail.. but you proved that LDR does can really work!!.. i’m glad somehow, cause like Dan, i’m also in a LDR and really want this thing to work out well..
COngrates to you..
Good luck to Dan and Mel.. i know you can do it..
brandon
Sep 3rd, 2007
i agree with you dan. ldr’s are tough. been through enough of them to let you know what has been tried & tested. then again, as with any relationship, it’s different… the needs, your maturity, the standing of the relationship, the foundation. went through quite some time long distance with my current partner and it was tough even though we’ve been friends for like 10 yrs. now, in about a month or so, we’ll be apart again for about 6 months which i know will be a test for us again.
but at least, with us getting married come feb next year, it will keep us close as it is more important than ever that we bridge the physical gap between us and nourish it instead with the emotional and mental values.
congrats to you on having lasted an ldr!
suanie
Sep 3rd, 2007
hehehe cipet.. kk is not oz!!
I give myself 3 years in my LDR. if it doesn’t work out, i’d only be 29
Jewelle
Sep 3rd, 2007
Commitment – at the back of your mind you must think he/she is the one you want to be with at the end of the day.
Trust – no blind trust. trust has to be earned and be justified
Honesty – don’t have to be honest about everything. its hard to deal with things when you’re not face to face so have to learn to minimise and prioritise issues
Communication – once a day or as often as possible. my fingers could auto dial his number even when i planned to call another friend!
Patience – think of it this way, this is the chance to enjoy some freedom – as long as its within being trustworthy
LDR can be a pain especially when you just need him/her to be there – this is when, he/she is not here but (another) he/she is…then things can happened. Stay away from such situations.
The best thing is, you get excuses to Travel! Holiday!
If you’re meant to be together, you will be and in the meantime, make the best of things
conancat
Sep 3rd, 2007
long distance is really hard… not an easy thing to maintain, really
if two is someone that had been together for years and they have to seperate because of work, i guess that is easier… but if two just started off as a distant relationship such as from net or email or msn and decided to couple up, well personally i rarely see these type of couple work out
Shemah
Sep 3rd, 2007
It’s definitely difficult. I’m in a long distance marriage. I’d explain but that would take two years of blogging.
Anyways, I really agree with all of the above. You must have all those mentioned up there. You can’t make it 4/5. You MUST have it all.
There will come a time when it wouldn’t be long distance anymore and that’s what should drive you to make it work, knowing it’s worth your while. Till that time comes, just hang in there with your 5 rules for LDR.
Great post Daniel. Loves it.
Mr D
Sep 4th, 2007
Long distance is very hard and sometimes it will make u do something crazy like get married to the wonderful person!! haha
Olieee
Sep 5th, 2007
Jewelle i had that too!! I mean intending to send a msg or call another friend instead auto dialed on his number instead.. LoL..
anyway, LDR does sucks… it’ll never work for me at least on the guy’s side coz they just can’t seem to be the one with patience.. i’m always d one who waits…
jefferi
Sep 5th, 2007
I don’t prefer LDR if can. Relationship with him/her is just like studying a degree. The keyword is CREDIT HOUR. Credit hour represent the time both of you together and touching each other hand. Talk by phone or msn or email not count. If you don’t have enough credit hour, so it means that both of you not spending enough time knowing each other. Knowing each each other not just by talking, messaging or emailing. Touching is important too to feed in emotional closeness with each other. So, without it would lead to lack of emotional closeness that we need.
There is nothing wrong to be attached to each other. Love made one to be emotional depend to his/her side. LDR is such a turn off to relationship closeness because we need to be so independent and loyal to each other verbal contract of forever love without be together.
Nevertheless, LDR is not a bad thing. It just a hard way of relationship. Trust, honesty, communication, and patient is a must not just for LDR but also for the norm relationship. So, best wishes and prayers to them who on LDR.
Gallivanter
Sep 6th, 2007
Thank you all for your wonderful input. I’m glad to see that this topic brought out your opinions and experiences. Cheezels & pappadoms!
marsha
Sep 11th, 2007
whether long or short distance, a lot of the points above is relevant mah. right? it doesn’t matter whether you’re far or near, trust, honesty, commitment and patience is required in keeping a relationship/marriage together. agree?
Gallivanter
Sep 11th, 2007
marsha Of course, hence my entry.
Relationship » Long Distance Relationships
Sep 25th, 2007
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLong Distance Relationships. Direful. Can you keep on loving someone if distance separates them? Absence makes the heart grow stronger or out of sight out of mind? I believe it all boils down to how BADLY you want it to work. … [...]