Gentlemen. Are they hard to find these days? Because of my upbringing, I always had the profound respect for women, thanks to mom. So, on a subconscious level, I always make sure the women company around me are taken care of. Simple things like holding the door, waiting for them to reach home safely, has been embedded in me for as long as I can remember.
Unfortunately, being a gentleman in this day of age has its major side effects, it apparently can lead women on. I found that out many a time, though there were an elite few who are nonchalant about it.
Why do women construe someone who is just being a gentleman as someone who really likes them?
A Year Ago
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Tags: gentleman, nonchalant, problem, respect, upbringing
October 12th, 2007 at 12:21am
I guess they do….
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:14am
Hmm… my english is not good but I hope I understand what you’re saying here. Is good for you to be the gentleman when comes to being with the women. I believe every man should be like this all the time.
However, being a gentleman with other woman while you’re with your lady partner around.. is sometimes can caused problem too. There is always a limit, a boundary when you already in a relationship. The other partner may not like it. For us men, there’s nothing wrong coz we just being nice to them.
I know its normal the other partner to be jealous, just sometimes don’t push our luck if we still treasure our relationship. It happen to me all the time… even worst when u already married. hahaha.
Hmmm.. im not sure my comment still related or not here. If not, Just delete it ok Dan
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:35am
I always being gentleman too, but why nothing happen on me?
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October 12th, 2007 at 2:02am
Well my friend, it takes time to find the right balance. I’m a gentleman and never say bad word in fron of a lady, instead use “high words” that in Spanish sounds better (Spanish is a very colourful, wide and beautiful languaje), open doors, always pay, and so on, but then the ladies want to be independent and strong, even when with a gentleman because tend to feel more intimidated because they might never come across a gentleman, but when they realize how good we are cmpared to her friend’s boyfriends they love you and keep you. Being a gentleman is a balance of how and when to be strong with her.
It is just my humble Opinion.
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October 12th, 2007 at 8:36am
yes,its hard to find a gentleman these days…
but,what is what women wants?? :S
i try to be kind,sometimes im a gentleman,but i think the secret its not to be boring.
Sometimes women want a gentleman,but sometimes a guy rude and macho too…
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October 12th, 2007 at 9:26am
Maybe these women already has a “crush” on you to begin with and when you do something nice, they become “hopeful” and thus construe it as such. In short it’s a transference reaction.
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October 12th, 2007 at 10:05am
Gentlemen ? Still have any there ? I always see those guys push the crowd to go into the LRT no matter you are women or not.. Sigh…
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October 12th, 2007 at 10:15am
Ahem..adakah kau buka pintu for me???hmmmm…”squintin me eyes” Nanti kau balik then i’ll tell you my comment kio? hehe..
Jokes aside…I agree with firehouse. Also its hard to find one sincere gentlemen out there these days thus why women thinks you really like them and fall for you.
Zaman sekarang “gentlemen” comes with agenda like “i want to get into your pants by end of tonite”
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October 12th, 2007 at 10:23am
Because they are never taught that if a man opens your door, gives way to you, stand before you are seated etc are gentlemanly behaviour and not a come-on.
I once opened a door at the bank and gave way to a lady. She looked extremely surprised, as if this is something new.
The problem is she later became my wife.
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October 12th, 2007 at 11:19am
ahaha… gallivantress, you seem to be commenting more of gallivanter’s gentleman’s qualities instead.. lol…. Are you implicating that he’s that type of “gentleman” from your last sentence? Hahaha…Bah, just joking… LoL… don’t take it to heart ya… i know everyone’s a gentleman here
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October 12th, 2007 at 11:29am
cdason Hmm…
papajoneh Thanks Papa J, but the status quo doesn’t come into play. I’m talking about women construing the act of kindness as men being interested in them.
Kenny Ng I guess it depends on the ladies. Confident ladies are nonchalant about it.
Antonio Salgado Leiner Thanks for your thoughts. Nice one!
tincho sambora Rude and macho may be for the short run, but women still do fall for them. The reason? Well, I blogged about it sometime back I think.
Firehorse Possibly, but then again, I think it all boils down to their self-esteem and loneliness.
keeyit LRT can turn a gentleman into a Singaporean.
Gallivantress Sudah banyak pintu sia sudah buka untuk you…lupa ka? Adeh…ni la nonchalant act 1. Nanti sia telefon mummy you kata sia tau mau bagi kerbau.
Wombat LOL. Whose fault is it for not teaching them?
Terence Aisay man Terence, I need to look for a lawyer la, to list the number of doors I’ve opened for her…know anyone?
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October 12th, 2007 at 11:44am
for me man have to b gentleman..yeah..infact, not gentleman enough, mayb no woman will hang out with u….juz my own thought..
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:33pm
OK Dan.. dah paham now. In my simple dictionary, the lady aka women aka pompuan aka girl.. yang actually “terperasan yang dia di suka konon” when actually the guy only practice what been taught since born.. being gentle to all women.
Nah, if this is salah lagi.. i stop commenting already. Haha.
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:43pm
Terence - “Are you implicating that he’s that type of “gentleman” from your last sentence?
Just to make it clear,no,its not for him and he is not that type of person. Thats not Gallivanter.
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:49pm
mArMaLaDe Yeah, you got it right, though it’s not within the context of this entry.
papajoneh Betul bah Papa J, you got it spot on!
Gallivantress Thank you dear. Okay, I’ll start opening doors for you again.
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:52pm
nasib.. phhheewwwww.. lap peluh sebab buka dictionary tebal tadi. penat juga ya
I think i lack of guiness this… i better go find a dozen.. stock it in the freeze.. probably by then I’m ok.
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October 12th, 2007 at 8:03pm
Haha comments alone were downright humorous. Dan, your Sabahan BM getting better these days. Mel is quite the tutor isnt she?
I agree with you Gallivantress. It’s hard to tell which ones are genuine and those who just wanna get in your pants. Dan, I don’t quite agree with you on the last part though. Some women tend to get the “you like me” feeling IF there was a thing to lead them on in the first place ie “maybe we can do this again” or “ill call you”. Personally I think chivalry doesnt. It would be ridiculous to assume that a guy likes you just because you opened a door or pulls out a seat for you. In some countries these have become even a culture that it would be odd, rude even for a man not to practice chivalry.
Sadly we don’t see that in Malaysia though.
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October 12th, 2007 at 11:31pm
I like the way you answered.. Haha
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October 13th, 2007 at 9:27am
papajoneh Give me your mailing address, I’ll set a pint or two over.
charlenediane Yes, IF it’s a lead on, but I don’t think “I’ll call you” is a lead on. Sounds like they’re clinging to false hope.
keeyit
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