It’s not you, it’s me. Cliche of the century for relationships. Most of us have been guilty in uttering those words during breaking up, apart from me - I never believed it’s the right way.
Does every relationship deserves a dramatic breakup? It depends on the intensity of the relationship of course. Whatever it is, at least have the decency to respect the relationship by not resorting to e-mails or IMs or SMS to convey the message - that’s cowardly. Always end it, at least through a phone call or even over dinner or a private setting.
Be direct and honest, and don’t engage in arguments, stick to the facts. If it’s not working, it may not be anyone’s fault, it’s just that a change is needed. As for remaining friends after breaking up, it depends on the relationship itself.
If you’re still in love with the person, then break all contacts with that person. You may feel that meeting up for one last time under the guise of closure is misleading. False hope. Break off contact immediately after breaking up - at least 2 months. We all need time to detox.
Don’t call to check how the person is doing, that’ll just keep the wounds and falsify hopes. Learn from the failed relationship, list down the things you appreciated and the things you would not want to create the next time. Keep yourself busy with your friends and other healthy distractions.
Please please don’t jump right into a new relationship. It’s unfair to the other person that you’re medicating your sadness on her. Though you’re not independent enough to be alone because you’re lonely, don’t be selfish.
A Year Ago
- 2006: A Company of Strangers
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Tags: argument, breakup, change, coward, dramatic, honest, intensity, Relationship, respect
December 13th, 2007 at 3:30pm
geezzz…last nite my friend broke up with his BF…it is gud actly, coz d GF s*@#!
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December 13th, 2007 at 7:05pm
I agree on the cut off all contact. Its what I wanted to do, but she was fighting for the friendship. False hope… Best advise. Delete her phone number, email address, msn contact, facebook etc.
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December 14th, 2007 at 3:28am
I hate when they give lame reasons. They just don’t wanna admit that they no longer have feelings for the relationship. Loser.
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December 14th, 2007 at 4:43am
I hate the break up that thru letter, emails, sms etc without face to face. Coward and he/she must have been feeling guilty!
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December 14th, 2007 at 3:09pm
Good one….
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December 14th, 2007 at 3:31pm
sob3 i jst broke up lst nite..it hurts, damn hurt…i’ll tk note on yr advice ter…:(
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December 15th, 2007 at 3:35pm
marmalade I’m confused with your comment, BF or GF?
Sinudeity Don’t bother about being friends at all. Full cutoff. If things are gonna years down the road, maybe, but, in my case, I hardly bother.
Flo & papajoneh Agreed.
cdason Cheers.
LadyBird I know how hurt you’re feeling right now. Hang in there…*hugs*
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January 15th, 2008 at 3:26pm
thanks for ur post. it really helps! love ‘a simple guide to happiness’ and also this one. keep ur post coming :p
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January 21st, 2008 at 12:00am
adel You’re welcome.
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January 29th, 2008 at 4:00pm
i n my bf had a fight last few days he ask for breakoff he fedup with my behaviour always find faulth on him. Actually he is a married men n we been 2gther for almost 6 years. N This morning i begging to love n care hmm really sound like im a useless lady here but got no choice i love him too much n i know tis is unhealthy relatinship. how i wish i can give up on him. God pls help! i really need some advice from u guys
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February 7th, 2008 at 2:25pm
Jamica,
You have to change your whole life to get over him. Move somewhere you always hoped to, maybe. Get a new job to take your mind off that man and spend way more time with family. Learn whether you need him or love him, and if you need him, don’t despair that you won’t get what you need from a more bountiful, generous source. Good luck, dear.
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