30 Things You Need to Know About Women
SharePosted on 14. Jan, 2009 by Gallivanter in Gender
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30. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
29. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.
28. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
27. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.
26. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”
25. They can’t live without tension. Every once in a while she’s gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
24. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
23. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
22. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.
21. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.
20. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
19. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.
18. It never hurts to say you’re sorry, even if you don’t mean it.
17. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.
16. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
15. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.
14. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!
13. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.
12. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
11. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.
10. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.
9. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
8. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
7. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.
6. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.
5. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they’re more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.
4. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
3. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
2. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”
1. You’ll probably never know how many guys she’s slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
If you think you’re not able to manage to grasp at least 29 points, then it’s about time you seriously consider the following proposition.
|1f34|-|1r3
Jan 14th, 2009
can I get the inflatable wife package for my birthday ? LOL
|1f34|-|1r3’s last blog post..Use isthatsitedown.com to check site is down or not
massy
Jan 14th, 2009
OMG LOL
some applies and some aren’t XD
Clarence
Jan 14th, 2009
That’s determine why I’m still single until this moment. he he
Kimora
Jan 14th, 2009
LOL some are related to me hehehe especially no. 25 dunno lah why, some kind of therapy…i guess LOL
Kimora’s last blog post..
emelda
Jan 14th, 2009
hehe..some yes and some no..but i must say..spot on for fact number 19,LOL!! Wonder if i can do it or not…LOL!
emelda’s last blog post..So what are you waiting for?
@dr3h
Jan 14th, 2009
hehehe.. some of these are very true.. No.23 is so true for me.. (*whispering*) Hopefully you-know-who wont read
claire bennet
Jan 14th, 2009
hehe….very much depends on types of women lah..but some points..no matter how much we say we are not…deep down we are actually..if u knw wat i mean…hahah but really, if i were to be a serial killer…i’m so gonna use all the weapons imaginable..for more satisfaction..hehe
claire bennet’s last blog post..Age Of A Woman
Nayden79
Jan 14th, 2009
Some applies. But definitely NO to number 23.
Nayden79’s last blog post..I HEART GENZO
foongpc
Jan 14th, 2009
Haha! Very funny! I’m able to handle all the 30 points, but I will get the inflatable wife, anyway. LOL!
foongpc’s last blog post..All About Moon
Sherril
Jan 14th, 2009
LOL !! Heavens! The accuracy is ( secretly , of course ) astounding! Oh course the nitty details such as 79 may not always ring true.. but your close enuff !
PS: we’ve evolved much since the days of arsenic poisoning !
Alv0808
Jan 14th, 2009
OMG!!! guys..be alert!! hehehhehe..anyway not all is applicable..
Alv0808’s last blog post..Fashions Rage!!
AngelBear
Jan 14th, 2009
25. They can’t live without tension. Every once in a while she’s gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
24. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
both are true!!! (in my case, anyway~ hahahaha) =p
AngelBear’s last blog post..Tagged by Alv & Webber~~
Emily
Jan 14th, 2009
I like No. 4. I think most of us did that with celebrity names when we were kids. LOL
Emily’s last blog post..[Video] Chinese Orchestra Performance @ Kinta City
mouren
Jan 14th, 2009
No 28 – ‘The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.’Are you sure about this??? Hemmm…
mouren’s last blog post..5 THINGS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME
kaDusMama
Jan 14th, 2009
HAHAHAHAAA!!!!! I love this one :
22. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.
hahaha…crazy kah??
kaDusMama’s last blog post..Wow! What a beautiful eyes..
xin
Jan 14th, 2009
LOL. the top 3 are hilarious!
all from yr personal experiences? hehehe
xin’s last blog post..100°C Steamboat, Teppanyaki & BBQ Restaurant in NZX
Mell_f
Jan 14th, 2009
When 25 happens, just do the 24. LOL!
I like this kind of post
Mell_f’s last blog post..Oh Saga..
earthy emily
Jan 14th, 2009
You always have something to say about women aaa. LOL!
Faiez
Jan 14th, 2009
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahaha! Some applies some don’t (to me) but I bet this is a good conclusion for all women all over the world, hahaha.
Who said women are complicated? Just agree on no: 8, 15, 17, 18 and 24… you’ll be fine.
And the next time you think about cheating your partner, think about no: 3.
Teehehe.
Faiez’s last blog post..i-Word?
huei
Jan 14th, 2009
true..but not all! =P
24. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
couldn’t agree more! why won’t men just learn that???? =P
huei’s last blog post..Randomness again
sheela
Jan 14th, 2009
Dan I am reading it thoroughly..thoroughly..
Ah,my feminist spirit lift up when i read this entry. I have this weird feeling though why men like to do this 10/20 things about women you should know.. as if they have some kind of excuse to attack us anytime.. (hahah..relax ok)
29: average kiss 79?? how accurate is that Dan? mana ko dpt statistic ni?? (sia sampai ka tu average ah?? ahahaha mesti odd kan if not)
26: hahahaha….LOL i can say yes
23: hahahaha….I can say that true as well.
19: really??? seriously women dream that?? (i dont, did u gfs???)
the rest just make me laugh….!!! ahahaha …no further comment. save for ur own. Is this ur own observation or ur survey or u berpakat with male population and come up with this???
hahah its funny.
(”,)
Angie
Jan 14th, 2009
LOL….you’re so damned funny! If only my hubby understands women the way you do! Thx 4 dropping by *big big smiles*
Gallivanter
Jan 14th, 2009
|1f34|-|1r3 – Can, but all the better if it’s given by a girl. LOL.
massy – Yup, some, hit and miss, but I’m guessing more hit than miss.
Clarence – That shouldn’t stop you from getting attached. As complicated as women are, they are God’s gift to us men.
Kimora – Oh no! You evurl person you!
emelda – That one, I think they’ve invented the flannel of sorts for women to pee standing up, as for urinal, I think it’ll take another couple of years.
@dr3h – Why do you hang on to the memories? Regrets ka?
claire bennet – Uh oh…*RUNS OFF TO THE POLICE STATION*
Nayden79 – Yeah, but somehow, that’s not the case. Just imagine if the men did the same. LOL.
foongpc – Cool, now you’re talking!
One for the weekdays and one for the weekend. LOL!
Sherril –
I knew it! Evolution is just a masquerade, deep down inside, we’re still animals. LOL!
Alv0808 – Not all, but 90% perhaps? Hehehehehe!
AngelBear – Yeah, and in that order as well! LOL!
Emily – Really? Celebrity names? That one I didn’t know.
mouren – Yes, average, statistically proven. I won’t reveal my sources.
kaDusMama – Oh yes, that is very true bah. Dan-jer-les dli-ving!
xin – No, not from personal experience, else on number 3 alone, I wouldn’t have been alive!
Mell_f – Ya man! Evurl women you!
earthy emily – And why not?
Faiez – Women, we can’t live with them, we can’t live without them!
huei – Well, some men will never learn that on purpose of winning the argument and ego of course.
sheela – This is more of a lighthearted observation and case studies of women during my lifetime.
Angie – Believe me, I still don’t understand them! LOL!
Olie
Jan 15th, 2009
I don’t do no. 23 *always destroy whatever memories with the ex. bLegh. waste of time* move on lar!
But no. 20 is kinda true.. ha,ha,ha… but I usually wear something comfy.
nice post anyway… got me laughing out loud… LoLs!! Well done Dan!
nice one… hahaha “when no. 25 happens just do no. 24″ so farnee!!!
but kissing 79 men??? ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha… aduih this is really la ‘jaw excersize’ man!!!! Thanks for this post… still can’t stop laughing la..
Olie’s last blog post..Gotta Be Somebody – Nickelback
tekkaus
Jan 15th, 2009
Ouh my God…did your wife read this? If I get this…I will be ignored for days! LOL +D
sheela
Jan 15th, 2009
Mel: alala si Dan expert la suda ni…life time observation. I am sacred of u now…(hahahah) have a good day bro.
(”,)
Aj
Jan 15th, 2009
mihahahaha 26. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.” <—i always did this
Aj’s last blog post..Almond Chicken
Daniel Ng
Jan 15th, 2009
LOL!
” More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.”
this is so funny and true!
Where can i order the Inflatable wife?
Daniel Ng’s last blog post..Thanks God For Coffee!
Terra
Jan 15th, 2009
Of this whole list, I’m afraid I only nodded in agreement over #3. Excuse me while I go and think it over
Gallivanter
Jan 15th, 2009
Olie – Good on you for number 23. There’s no point in wallowing in the past.
tekkaus – She’s not my wife yet, but yeah, she did.
sheela – LOL! Still not expert enough bah. There’s no such thing as an expert on women.
Aj – Yup, third date’s too late.
Daniel Ng – It is! Inflatable wife? Send me a separate mail, this cannot be shared. Secret of the world! LOL!
Terra – Uh oh.
sriyany
Jan 19th, 2009
LOL! this was soo hilarious! I can relate to No.20 – coz i’m a size 10
sriyany’s last blog post..Hong Kong Day 1: Arrival
papajoneh
Jan 19th, 2009
ok.. my comment here had be deleted. Understood
Gallivanter
Jan 19th, 2009
sriyany – LOL!
papajoneh – No, I didn’t delete your comment at all, I saw it appearing on my gmail, but it’s not saved because I moved my domain from Malaysia to USA over the weekend, and hence, most comments were lost.
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