Grudges & Forgiveness
SharePosted on 25. May, 2009 by Gallivanter in Life, Thoughts
I have to admit, with some people I hate, I still hold grudges no matter how hard I tried to forgive them. Who? Relatives. How can I forgive a number of relatives who alienated my mom, my brother and I when my father died in 1986? I won’t go into details but it has scarred me to the point that I secretly hate them.
I know that forgiveness is the way forward of letting go to seek closure but I’m no Saint, I just can’t do it. I know that holding a grudge usually leaves you a bitter person but from how I see myself, I am not bitter without a reason.
However, time has been a successful healer of bitterness though some memories are scarred into your mind. As I look into the mirror, I want to say, forgiveness helps in letting go of pain.
I’m still trying.
JL
May 25th, 2009
One way of getting over obnoxious relatives is just fix yr own focus on something else much more worthy to be focused on. Works many mant times for me. They just disappear from yr life.
daniel chiam
May 25th, 2009
hey man… keep on doing whats right… most of the time… its always hard to do but thats life… we just needed to take one step at a time… be strong and realizing the fact that when you hated someone, it doesnt give any effect on the person you hate but it all goes back to you… in the end you will be the one that losing out in great things with these person…
Alv0808
May 25th, 2009
Time will heal..but must comes with effort. We’ve been hurts everyday..and forgiveness comes later. I understand, its not easy..yes still trying and never give up. GBU..
TerraShield
May 25th, 2009
You know what, if you need to keep the grudge, just do it. After all we are only human and therefore will feel the need to occasionally hold a grudge or be envious, etc. BUT… if forgiving makes you feel better, then by all means go for it.
Capt Jack Pipit
May 25th, 2009
Forgive my child, else it will eat you up inside. I know it is difficult to do by yourself, but with God he will see your through. 2 wrongs don’t make 1 right.
xin
May 25th, 2009
hey! i got the same prob too!!!! some relatives really bullied my mom till max!!!!! ever since she got married to my dad, till the day my grandma passed away. for about 20 years in total!!! i really really secretly hate them for bullying my mom. i dont know if i can forgive them but whenever i see them, i feel like scolding them.
AngeLBeaR
May 25th, 2009
You can forgive..but you can’t forget.
I had my bitterness towards some people in my life…those who insulted my family, who insulted my dad even after he died (yet in the end that fellow also died in a tragic way just 2 weeks after my father is buried..karma?)
It takes lots of time and prayers to be able to forgive…and when it finally came, then you realise the peacefulness you get. GBU.
JerryInc
May 26th, 2009
tough..but it does make us look at things we would normally overlook
Walter J
May 26th, 2009
Agreed with Capt Jack Pipit & AngeLBeaR – i forgive, but i don’t forget… & i know that “it will eat you up inside” but it’s just not that easy …
Nick Phillips
May 26th, 2009
There are some people in this world you just can NEVER forgive!
Gallivanter
May 26th, 2009
JL – Yeah, but the thing is, some do not disappear. LOL.
daniel chiam – I agree, except the part when you mention great things with these people. That’s debatable.
Alv0808 – Yup, I’m a work in progress even after 23 years.
TerraShield – I know exactly what you’re saying, but forgiving does make me feel better, as I have previously experienced it, but these relatives have caused so much damage that I don’t know how to forgive.
Capt Jack Pipit – You’re right. But it’s easier said than done. I still can’t do it. Sigh.
xin – Yeah, I remembered how NO ONE helped when my dad died, and my mom was only a housewife, and had to make ends meet. On bad days, my brother and I had rice with some gravy, on good days, egg as an addition. I still feel vengeful.
AngeLBeaR – Definitely cannot forget because I can still feel the scars, and when I think about it, my eyes tear with hurt and anger.
JerryInc – True.
Walter J – Yeah, not easy at all.
Nick Phillips – No matter how hard we try.
Pinknpurplelizard
May 27th, 2009
I’m like you on forgiveness. I’m easy going until u push me too far and I explode. When I do, don’t expect me to feel obligated to help you and if I’m the last person on earth to help you from death, I will just spit in your friggin face and wish u a good painful death experience. Lol… I am cruel and never forgive so that you heathens get what you deserve. Muahahahaha!
Gallivanter
May 31st, 2009
Pinknpurplelizard – Remind me not to cross your path.