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Two Nights in Bangkok
I now know why hamsap old men love Bangkok – they get to put Viagra to the test. You could smell sex and booze in the air at night. The weather was blisteringly humid. And AirAsia continues to live up to its unsought reputation of holdups. But can you blame them? They only have about 7 SECOND HAND planes. All I ever hear is some effing asshole bitching on the phone to whoever, yapping about squandering RM150. The chintzy mongrel thought he’d economize on airfare in return for floozies of Bangkok. Utter disgrace. If I get a 10 cent whenever I hear someone kvetching about AirAsia, I would’ve be built a much bigger terminal for AirAsia than that Giant Supermarket of a LCC Terminal. 
The Korean business associates took me to some peeler joint with pole dancers, extremely young girls – an oasis for paedophiles. Skanky. A place for “Farangs” indeed. I also came across someone’s grandpa getting jiggy with it with some Thai lady who looked like to have exceeded the sell-by-date on the dancefloor. Yuck! If your gramps was MIA in the last couple of days, better check his passport! I also saw ZAKARia living up to his name, Beng Ham Sap blithely fondling in public and grandad Kunjimani going through some midlife crisis – believing he’s Casanova. Do Malaysian women really suck in bed (not literally I mean..LOL!) that most old farts unbosom in Bangkok?
What about me you ask? Well, I loathe Thailand in terms of women encounters, land of the sexually transmitted diseases! 1500 Thai baht for a bonk and your wiener to fall off – deal of the century! Blech! On that note, I scorned Bangkok.
On Thursday, I did something I never thought I would do, I gallivanted approximately 10km (that’s what the Korean business associates articulated much to their stupefaction when I mentioned my escapade). I holidayed Thursday morning by taking the air. Stopped over thrice – 2 pubs and 1 spa. I mollycoddled myself to a respectable uncontaminating spa. Also tormented myself for half-an-hour in the sauna, followed by aromatherapy massage and facial (not by choice – included in the package). 3 hours for 1000 baht (RM99). Now that’s a higgle! It took me a while to find the “right” spa, and as my Korean associates remarked, the spas by the mainroad are more often than not 90% clean of malevolency. I was treated like a King during the 3 hours (not King Kong mind you). Bullshitted about my country of origin when I said I was from Portugal (while donning a t-shirt that emblazoned GERMANY in the front), and got away with it. Got buttered left right center that I know wouldn’t have been the same have I said Malaysia. Actually, I do have some Portuguese bloodline and also some baba nyonya – purportedly have a bounteous family in Jasin, Malacca, that I’m not chafed to traverse it for now. After Christiano Ronaldo’s oscar-winning antics during the world cup, can you blame me? Hahahaha!
Hmmm…come to think of it, with a Germany t-shirt, I should’ve claimed that I was David Odonkor’s cousin, though I’m sure many would’ve been befuddled by that remark. LOL!
The flight was delayed almost 4 hours (and not 5 hours as I have annotated on other blogs). Still trying to acclimatize for the time deviation, though it’s only an hour – LOL! Sorry la…still convalescing from truckloads of Heineken gobbled up during my 2 nights in Bangkok. I also hungrily splurged RM5 for Soya Bean and RM4 for a Kit Kat during the 2-hour flight back home. I should’ve asked the stewardesses how much it was for a wank instead! LOL!
10pm, arrived at the Giant Supermarket (LCCT). So much for Bangkok – unquestionably won’t be going there for a vacation anytime soon. Seoul, Toronto and New York City remains the best cities that I’ve gallivanted so far. Melbourne’s still the best place for settling down!
P/S: SUPERMAN RETURNS movie is much better than the SUPERMAN RETURNS book! That Bryan Singer the pouf is an anus horriblus! Â
Wahhhhhhh…where did u get 3 hrs for 1000 bahts!!!!!??? Tell me specifically okay?
I will definitely go if I got the time spared.
Bangkok is nice leh, me the woman also likes going there. Like their language, so soft…so ‘Hiao’ (like miang la ;p), like singing!
“Melbourne’s still the best place for settling down!” – I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH YOU. Planning a trip there around June/July next year, saving all I can and go skiing at Falls Creek or Mt. Buller! Wanna join me? Gosh… I must start looking for jobs there. I just missed so much of Melbourne! *sob sob*
by the way, this happened to me…my personal experience in Bangkok.
This sei ang-moh, I think he probably got drunk or too high. He dropped his pants and showed me his kukujiao! Man, I was so embarrased because my business partner was sitting next to me and he joked ‘eh, this ang-mo likes u!’
C’mon he was just insane la!!!
U know, I wasn’t even walking on the street that time. I was in the coach while transferring back to hotel!
Yeah man, fully agree with ya.
Had heard so much “bangkok…bangkok…bangkok…..!!!”
Definitely “not” a place for holidays!
I wasted my holiday
Never going to Bangkok!
lol..Ms Ronaldo just spoilt the Portugese egg tart too hehehe.. so much for both of my friends who said Thailand was amazing -_-”
meekiee Well, it’s some spa on Soi 22. I overlooked the name but I know precisely where it is located – just give me a holler if you do go to Bangkok and I shall direct you.
My family are intending to spend X’mas in Melbourne this year. Woohoo!
Some dude flashed at you? Gosh. I don’t know what to say….
anonymous Yes, don’t boondoggle your time in Bangkok. I’d recommend Koh Samui any day!
lex Your friends are seriously a bunch of desperados. Suggest you ditch them while you still can! LOL
Totally with you Daniel…
Hate Thailand for all the scum that flock there, and all they purport to offer – drugs, party and the most deranged kind of sex.
Too riff-raff for me. Give me Bali anytime.
David Odonkor’s cousin.. hahahhaa you crack me up Dan! LOL!
Sex sells. Thats what they, many the Thais are doing for a living. We can’t blame them.
keropok Yes, Bali is definitely better. Even Koh Samui to an extent is value for entertainment. I wonder what would Jakarta be like…
sha Can you see the similitude? Black and bald. Hahahaha!
endroo g Yes, I’m not blaming them – I’m faulting the Westerners for it. If Malaysia were as unstrained as Thailand on transgression, it would’ve been the same here because most Westerners flock for grime crummy sex – to live out their closet fantasies of being paedophiles…DISGUSTING!
Lol… perhaps u do look like David Odonkor’s cousin lol but well, they both stay verrrrrrry far away (hint: MAN U and the States hahaha)
i recommend chiangmai instead. by far, socially cleaner than bangkok with honest people. i had awesome foot massages on the streets with chatty therapists for 60 bhat an hour. add another 60 baht if you want a glass of rose wine to go with the massage session.
whereinsoever.wordpress
lex States? Odonkor plays in Germany.
philters Thanks for the heads up and thanks for visiting. Rose wine?
loved my stay in bangkok.. one of the guys i’m dating in wealthymen.com owns a superb hotel there and i must say they have great accomodations so i was able to tnjoy every minute of my stay..