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7 Things That Only Men Can Do!
GO TOPLESS
Sure, women can go topless on the beach, but we can do it whenever and wherever we please. Walking down the street? Off. Mowing the lawn? Off. Street ball? Skins. Useless nipples and the lack of mountains are the reasons for this entry.
LIQUOR
Sorry ladies, we’re genetically wired to pack it away a lot better than you. Men produce more of the protective enzyme alcohol dehydrogenate, which breaks down alcohol. OLE! Though, there are a handful women who can drink their liquor – men in disguise?
HAIR
Facial hair, chest, underarm, legs, arms etc – can women keep those and get away with it in current society? Err, don’t think so.
SHAVE OUR HEADS
Sure, Natalie Portman, Sigourney Weaver and Demi Moore all sheared their locks (FUGLY!!), but as a true lifestyle choice in everyday society, guys have mastered the bald top. From Michael Jordan to David Beckham to Samuel L. Jackson guys wear bald better. Still need more proof? Just look at bald Britney. Result: Shaving our heads is something only men can do.
PLAY REAL SPORTS
Be honest; which of these would you prefer to watch: Men’s Football or Women’s Football? WNBA or NBA? NHL or women’s hockey? NFL or women’s rugby? Yes, women play plenty of sports and, yes, they are good athletes, but their sports are a snoozefest to watch.
PEE STANDING UP
Full bladder, but there’s a line for the urinal? Just step outside and pee behind a dumpster. On a camping trip? Pee and lean against a tree to steady your flow. While women have to unzip, pull down and crouch before they can go, our process is pretty simple: Find some cover, unzip and go.
AGE WELL
Sorry ladies, all your creams, moisturizers and youth-in-a-bottle remedies have nothing on men. Our male hormones give us thicker skin, which means we get fewer wrinkles and our skin stays younger longer. While women have Joan Rivers to look forward to, we have Sean Connery. Keith Richards? Well, we’ll just count him as a genetic anomaly.
Dan: one more thing, men can use minyak lintah but women can’t…hahahahahaha
Useless nipples? I think you haven’t found out how useful it is yet.. Kasian… Mel show him some lurve… ‘-p
Pee Standing? CAN!!! Who said cannot?? Thanks to those Japanese Geniuses who invented the ‘thing’ for women to pee standing *bLeGh* Don’t believe me, go and find it in ‘Watsons’.
Well one thing I know men can’t crouch longer than women.. ho,ho,ho..
Men age well? That’s because men doesn’t have to worry much about the kids and their well beings, the household, bla bla bla…
Depends on how and what you are doing lar, I believe women aged well too.. like me… ha,ha,ha,ha. Plus I know a alot of younger men in their 20′s and they looked like they are already 30 or 35 years old!!!
Other than that I have to agree with you… LoLs Hairs and Baldiness is a NO NO for women!
the whole wide world is our toilet
Hey, us women can pee standing too ya know? LOL!!!
i pee standing up sometimes
Well, you won’t see me complaining if women decided to walk around topless … LOL!
But the rest, whoa, you got it absolutely right
Happy holidays, pal!
Pee standing up, going topless just about anywhere, going bald (or super hairy, take your pick), guzzling alcohol, beating each other to a pulp on the football/rugby/pick a sport field…
Gee, talents that will get you men SO far in life.
*LOL*
Well it has worked for us so far hahaha.
Aj – LOL
Olie – Sorry Olie, but apart from that, the nipple is useless compared to a woman. That pee standing is cheating bah, that’s an aid. When it comes to Japanese, anything’s possible. Generally, men age better than women, because they know it’s pointless being stressed up over EVERY single thing.
clement – Yikes. I’ve seen that, men peeing in the sea, while we we clubbing at Koh Phangan’s full moon party. There were no accessible toilets around. Hmmm, wonder if that’s the reason why the sea is salty. Arrghh!
ethel – Yes, apparently I’m told, that the tonton can be controlled manually.
xin – I take it that you do that at public toilets.
Nick Phillips – You and me both!
Melissa – Oh yes, that’s why most women need us in their lives.
Ki//joy – LOL.
Oi!
Go Topless: Hehe, true. Even here in the land of the whites I am yet to see topless women go round about. Even at the red lights, they’re only topless in the windows hehe.
Liquor: Hmm… now you made me feel like a men. But it’s not the enzyme lah… it’s the fat
Hair: This one, only men and french women can do.
Shave: Ok, I agree since I heart your baldie head, hehe.
Play real sport: Hehe, true. But you haven’t watch this ‘Veronica channel ladies football. They just do penalty shoots tho… but even that, I bet a lot of men would rather watch this. Imagine, kicking penalty in skimpiest and pornish attire, ever.
Pee Standing up: The japanese women can already lah, they sell the gadget already.
Age Well: This I have to disagree. Madonna is 50! But ok, I’ll come back when she’s 70.
Faiez – Eh, stop the press! Veronica channel ladies football? *WIPES DROOL* Madonna? Botox bah that!