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Perfectionist Parents
If you’re a parent, are you indirectly trying to make your child perfect? Do you PUSH them to get A’s, to excel in sports? Do you think your child is happy, or do you think because you’re a parent, you know what’s best for them?
Do you set unrealistic targets for them, and anything less is considered unacceptable? I wonder if parents are aware that this poses a threat to the children, if they are not perfect, they will not be loved. Do you know how crazy is that? It can have an unwanted impact on your children – they could be destructive, and depressed.
Perfectionist Parents
Parents should not expect their children to be perfect, the kids can be perfect in areas that they care about, and this area should be encouraged. Unfortunately, we live in a society that adores perfection to ridiculous levels where being good is no longer enough.
Some parents think that if they force perfection of our their children, the kids get excited when they achieve the standards set, unfortunately, the reaction is otherwise, the children become more relieved instead for NOT being a failure. Imagine if they fail, you think they would be disappointed or they would be mentally devastated?
Parents, what are your thoughts?
I got a friend who set a bar for her little girl to achieve. She was 9 and came home from school one day, crying. The dad asked her why is she crying, she said that she scored 97% in her maths…and mommy (my friend) will not be giving her any present if she doesn’t score 100!
Imagine that…and I was thinking…isn’t 97 good enough???
I think I’m one of those who wants to be perfect. My parents weren’t that strict but my dad did set some kinda bar that gives pressure to us siblings.
…I don’t expect my kids to be perfect… I just hope they know how to survive with their living in the future…
Most parents these days are too over extreme in wanting their kids to be perfect little children but don’t really that with all that molly coddling of the kids, they end up not being able to handle the ‘real’ world out there when they grow up.
I think kids should just be left to bloom at their own pace, make their own mistakes and learn from it.
So no, I don’t expect perfection from my kids. As long as they can make it in life later on, that’s good enough for me
i think parents must find the balance between being strict and also giving freedom to raise independent self-motivating children.
Dont teach perfection to our kids. Let them find it out. Parents nowadays too strict and I saw a lot especially in Mass. Words like ‘DONT, WHY, HAVE YOU, ARE YOU LISTENING, GO, LOOK AT THEM’..huh..as an adult I feel stressed too..
The word ‘perfect’ is just overrated. What is perfect? Good grade? good job? then what about the other areas of the kids life? mentally? emotionally? they cant achieve perfection if parents keep pushing them on the direction that they wanted. eventually they will be torn apart with what the parents want and what they really want.
AngeLBeaR – Unbelievable! Utter nonsense!
Massy – I understand that parents only want us to be the best to survive in this world, but the bars set is sometimes too ridiculous.
Mouren – Amen!
Nick Phillips – Agreed, you can’t never stop children from making mistakes, otherwise, they will not learn from mistakes to be better individuals.
chris – Yeah, although “balance” is a relative word, as it varies based on interpretation.
Alv0808 – Touche. I think encouraging a child is more crucial than anything else.
Daniel Chiam – Correcto! Nice one!
My parents wanted me to be “perfect” when I was young. When they discovered that I can’t be a straight As student like my brothers, they accepted it.
Like Daniel Chiam stated, what is perfect? It certainly is different from my eldest son to my next. The best way for me is to understand them and move them in the right direction, whether they like it or not. One day, hopefully they’ll thank me. If that’s what they call perfection, then they can sue me
Parenting is such a delicate balance. When you get stern, people think you’re being too disciplined. When you give them freedom, people think you’re being too permissive.
I was told of parents of KINDERGARTEN kids (read : age 4-5 years old) who insist that they revise until midnight during exam weeks. A single mistake then it’s revision ALL OVER again! Talk about pressure
BUT then again, if you have read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outlier, you’d know how much environment play a part in what our kids will become in the future – remember the genius who is a “failure” and the successful “dumb” crook – all started from their childhood and in many parts, heavily influenced by the way their parents brought them up.
Personally, I want my kids to have the opportunities to be successful BUT not to the point of them growing up hating me
Find the right balance, is what I say
Jessie – Cool.
Lorna – Of course it is a balance, and what you perceive as balance may be deemed as extreme/lenient by others.
Carol – Touche.