Longtime Singlehood

Posted in Opinions | 52 comments

It’s been 3 years now since I’ve been single, though I had quite a number of dates during that time. Ladies always seem to be inquisitive as to why I’ve been single for so long, well, I have my reasons, but chiefly, it is by choice. And, no one has swept me off my feet yet either. So, why should I jump into a relationship for the sake of having one? Anyway, being single for too long does have its drawbacks. Doubts start to play in your mind, maybe you’re not good enough, or maybe your expectations is just too high.

You assume women are ridiculing you
When a woman smile, to most of us men, that’s an ego-booster. But, being single, it starts to damage your confidence, you assume these signals are nothing more but smirks, probably targeted at your dowdy attire. Confidence is one of the most important things a woman looks for in a man. So, don’t LOSE it.

You pour your heart out to women
Your chitchats with woman turn into long emotional declamations of your loneliness. Don’t! Though you shouldn’t suppress those feelings, learn to choose who hears them. So, please don’t try to court a girl with your schmaltzy ramblings.

Your dating standard drops
Going without action for too long affects a man’s thinking. It won’t be long before that 38-year-old “cheetara” at your favorite boozer starts looking pretty good. Be sensible, else you’ll be in a relationship with the kind of woman who would normally give you the chills. Keep your standards up, and the right lady will come along.

Your female friends become potentials
It may seem perceivable after a while. BUT, in hindsight, you’re better off keeping them as friends. Don’t sell yourself short. If you do see something worthwhile, make sure it’s for the right reasons and not because you’re afraid of being on your own.

You Google your ex-girlfriends
If you find yourself googling for an ex-girlfriend, hoping that just maybe, you could work out your differences, please smack yourself silly. Look, it’s OK to look (unhealthy fascination is only human), but don’t contact her unless you want to be tagged a creepy stalker.

There’s nothing wrong with being single, a lot of people I know are perfectly happy living their lives without being restrained to one person. There are worst things out there than being single. Count yourself lucky to be able to breathe, lucky to have your health, lucky with what you have, and you’ll realize that being single isn’t a bad thing.

Just be aware of your actions and habits.