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Dear Moronic Mobile Phone Users, Where’s Your Brain?

Posted in Opinions | 25 comments



TALKING TOO LOUDLY
For fuck sake, some people feel the need to raise their voices while on the phones, while in some scenarios like in public where noise levels are bloody high, it is somewhat acceptable. But, all the time? There’s no need to yell! Are you a bloody attention seeker, showing off to impress surrounding strangers of your talk?

INAPPROPRIATE PUBLIC CONVERSATIONS
No one needs to hear how wasted you were last night, or which chick you screwed last night as part of your bet with a friend. Please keep them personal, you don’t want to emotionally destroy the public and then being chased by an angry mob. It’s best to call the person back or find a quiet place to talk.

RUDELY INTERRUPTING CONVERSATIONS
To a certain extent, you may not have a choice if it’s urgent, but bloody hell, to answer a phone call fromthe Palace of the Golden Horses offering their golden balls membership package, as if they know that your John Thomas is small? Don’t pick up the call please, especially when you’re having a free-flowing conversation.

CHECKING YOUR PHONE AT THE MOVIES
F**king pricks! No matter what public service announcement before the movie starts, there are still loads of idiots out there who check their phone. If you want to do that, stay at home, buy a DVD, text and call whoever you want, while fiddling your tudung girlfriend. Stop being a public nuisance! Either turn your bloody phone off or put it on silent, and try not to be an asshole. Did you learn from your parents? F**k the emergency, chances are really slim, and if it did happened, it’s already taken place.

TEXTING WHILE DRIVING
If you get an important text message while driving (why the hell did you read it in the first place?), try to pull over or put on your head-set and call the person. I have been guilty of this in the past but have now learned to stop it. If a co-pilot is next to me, I’ll pass the phone to that person. If it’s a call, I’ll turn on my bluetooth headset to talk.

TEXTING WHILE TALKING
This is super annoying! They are not listening to the conversation, just the usually, “yeah”, “cool”, “uh huhs”, at all the wrong moments, cutting you off mid-sentence, with a “serious?” or “no way” as they text the night away. Try to criticize the person by saying, “people who text in the middle of conversations are a bunch of dimwits”. If they reply, “cool”, then smack them with a banana or, tell better stories!

SMALL TALK TEXTING
I hate this. I hate it when I receive the infamous “How r u?”, “Wassup”,”What u doin’?” – those are moronic questions, especially when you could just pick up the phone to talk. You expect me to write how my day went? Of course not! Expect petty responses like, “I’m OK”, “Nothing”, “Chillin’” to your stupid texts. Call!

NOT HAVING THE PHONE WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET A CALL
I have this colleague who loves to keep his phone on his desk, then wanders away from his cubicle, and the bloody phone rings. It always happens – hence I’m guessing it’s not a coincidence but a pathetic way of showing off his bloody ringtone. It’s morons like this that gives city folks a bad name, because they think it is a city-thingy, they learn from their kampungs outside Klang Valley. He knows that it’s his phone that’s ringing, but moves like a snail with its testicles tied on its shell to pick it up. Dude – either carry the phone with you or don’t use one!

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