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Parents Who Pamper Their Children
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This question is directed to all parents who read my blog. Is my blog suitable for all ages? How do you nurture the growth of your children? Do you use the discipline and structure route or you provide the warmth and encouragement?
Is there a proven method? Are parents in a state of denial these days, sparring the rod to try to foster the child? Is that why there are many “spoilt” children going about in public with total lack of respect to others?
Do you let your child cry it out or do you pamper them? Do you sit down and ask them why they felt that way or punish them? Children DO NOT know right from wrong so the onus is up to the parents to guide them as much as they possibly can.
Yes, the world out there can certainly affect a child’s upbringing but if the child is “equipped” enough by the parents, he/she should be able to survive the real world.
The disadvantages of being permissive to your children is that they become self-centered, disrespectful to authority and end up being linked to criminal activities. Of course, this is not a general statement for all children as most of them do grow up using their thinking process.
The downside of punishing your child on the other hand, will obviously make them comply to you in the short-run but arouse the rebel in them to become disobedient in the long run.
So basically, there is no right way of nurturing your kids, and such is the challenge faced by parents these days, in a world that is shedding its morality as time goes by.
Yes, I’m no parent and these are based on my research of other parents so don’t start being defensive about the upbringing of your children! Instead, share your thoughts on this matter.
Hi………
Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
Great! Keep up the great posts…..
I’m not a parent either but this is how I see it… parents these days pamper their kids because both the mom and dad are working and maybe see the kids late at night or over the weekend, so they overcompensate their not being there with letting their kids get away with anything and everything…
Like I said, I’m not a parent and this is just an opinion based on observation.
“The downside of punishing your child on the other hand, will obviously make them comply to you in the short-run but arouse the rebel in them to become disobedient in the long run.”
I’m agree with the statement.
Phew… such a huge challenge and responsibility to be carried here…
Exactly, I totally agree with the statement…
I guess some are/were just thinking that they’re doing that because they thought it’s a way of showing their love. True love is NOT indulgence, and I believe children (start young age) should be taught to SERVE *happily* to avoid self-centeredness. but then again.. it’s just my own thought^^
Femin Suasn – Danke.
TerraShield – That sounds not right though, but who’s to say that I won’t go down that path either. Good observation.
Just – Yeah, a delicate balance indeed.
Archie – It’s tough being a parent I must say. But you should at least get 70% of it right while the 30% is usually influenced by society.
elcynthia – I agree. True love is not indulgence. Good point. Any parents out there care to give their thoughts?
I suppose, because parents are more affluent these days, and like one of your readers said, spending more time away from the family, they do have a tendency to pamper their children. Feeling guilty, they over-compensate by giving in to all the whims and fancies of their children.
But another reason could also be that parents are just not aware of the importance of training their child, and when the time is needed, to stand firm and win a challenge to their authority decisively. A lot of “disciplining” is done inconsistently and so, there is no set boundary for the child to operate freely within.
I’m no perfect parent, and I can’t say that my wife and I are absolutely consistent in our training as well. But when my daughter crosses a definite line, I (or my wife) discipline her and tell her why wedid so and . She’ll usually asked to be ‘sayang-ed’ after that and wegladly do so. She quickly goes about happily after that.
As far as possible, we explain to her what is acceptable and what is unacceptable beforehand, just so she knows what the limits are.
i think kids shouldnt be beaten up but they must be controlled and not evertyhing your little darling does is lovely – and my god i cannot stand the number of rude kids yuppie parents are bringing up – n when the kids aare rude the parents smile back so proudly – i mean what are u preparing ur kid to be – the biggest snob ever?
visithra is right, I basically agree with her.
I dunno knw wut it feels like to be a parent but wut i can think of is treat them like you wanna be treat when you’re younger like them
Good one Dan. For me (and I am not a parent yet), you need to earn everything from the kids and never force them to simply take your principal or way of looking at things.
One more thing, I know its going to be cruel to all the grandma/grandpa out there but never let your parents babysit for long your children especially since baby. They have their way of bringing up a child and believe me you will have your ways too… I just saw my aunt keep disagreeing with my grandma about how to treat my niece -_- its just unhealthy…
kids will never remember what you said but they will always remember what you had done
perry – Good points. Instilling discipline that way is key. I think there isn’t any hard fast rule to this but how parents raise their children certainly has an affect on them later in life.
visithra – “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is an outdated saying. I think they can be controlled in other ways for sure. And like you, I cannot stand unruly kids, the by-products of their unruly parents.
JL – Cool.
Nadia – Wow, that’s dangerous. LOL!
DC – Sometimes, I think they NEED to adapt to your principles because they are not at the level of maturity yet. I agree on the process of raising a child – every single person has his/her own ideas and it’s easier to criticize than to actually do it.
“The downside of punishing your child on the other hand, will obviously make them comply to you in the short-run but arouse the rebel in them to become disobedient in the long run.”
I believe that you must be strict and punish wrongdoings when they are still below 12 years old. After that, you can be more lineant, and move towards more advices than punishments.
Agree???…huhuhu
I don’t like to use the “punish” method as well, instead I’ll reward them if they have done right, it actually encourage the kids to try and get more compliments and “rewards” from the parents.
Being a mother of 2, this is what I believe will work for my kids in the long run but having said that, sometimes I do lost control over my emotion and will use the “cane method” instead….& everytime after I cane them, I feel so guilty…sigh… really not easy to be parents…
Cyril Dason – Looks like there isn’t any hard and fast rule. The onus is on the parent to ADAPT.
lala – That’s it? No opinion ka?
karenyiau – Yeah, it’s not easy, but I’m sure the challenge is worth it in the long run.
i pamper my boy from nu born till one n da half years old. then he is no longer cute n i stop pampering!
Merryn – The cute treatment.