Here’s the Last Men Standing (PG13)

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Crazy. Loony. Zany. Cuckoo. Goofy. I’m petering out of superlatives to expound the party we threw for our Director last night. The venue was at our gay colleague’s (Dermo) place – Jasmine Towers, SS2. It turned out to be a cracking night with oodles of kodak moments and goofball antics for all to see. The photos you are about to view could be rather disturbing, and it could alter your thinking of me. Hahaha! I’m sorry for letting you down, I blame it on 3 bottles of liquor, great 80s music and delirious company. I bonded with Chivaz and Jack Daniel’s.The party started up at 8pm and ended shortly after midnight. Why so early you ask? Well, some of us have to work you know – else parties like this may never take place. The photo on the top left is a fake-ass pose of the scrabble pretenders – yours truly, Alan and Brendan – this was an hour before we were “high in spirits”. LOL!

A picture paints a thousand words. This is our host for the evening (right), as queer as one can be, Dermo. As you can witness with your own eyes, he is having his anal checked by the “IKEA stickman”, and it looks like the stickman found something skanky up Dermo’s rectum. As luck would have it, our “Peter Parker-lingam”, Gerald managed to capture this kodak moment.

I know you’re feeling nauseous right about now. Go take a 5 minute toilet break, regurgitate if you must and come back to continue reading this post. And if you don’t feel like hurling, chances are you’re a closet homosexual like Dermo! Hahaha! Joking!

(Left) Can you guess what are we doing? Myself and Bren coiffured the infamous CAN-CAN dance, a salute to the invention of Jack Daniel’s. This photo was taken curtly before Jack Daniel’s and Chivaz started to lavish us with inebriation. Alleluia!

Now, it may look like fun to you, but we almost toppled (at least I was anyway), cause we had to pause the bebop for Peter Parker-lingam to take a snap.

On the right side, is easily the night’s PERFECT Kodak moment – the geezer in a white shirt is our Director homing in on appendages, in a valiant attempt to demonstrate the art of fellation. If you need more information on this subject, you may contact him at 1-800-BlowMe. P/S, Peter Parker-lingam is the Indian bloke, in a black t-shirt and jeans (in the group pic).

That’s the start of my mohawk look. I found this rat lying outside the apartment and decided to bring it in. FYI, a Mohawk is a member of the Iroquoian people formerly living along the Mohawk River in New York.

After a while, I kinda got bored with the mohawk look and wanted to try something new, maybe start a new trend that will at last launch Malaysia into first nation status, joining the ranks of USA in terms of idiocy. After minutes of toiling with the dead rat, I bobbed up with the following look (on the left pic). I call it – Muttley. I think it brings out the color of my eyes. LOL! This visual aspect can be recreated if you have several glasses of liquor in concert with the absence of the most treasured thing to Malaysians – A/C!

Shortly after my Muttley escapades, I caught Brendan crouching over to change the selection of music. Armed with the fellation knowledge taught by my Director, and with speed of a cheetah, I pounced! Only to be caught by once again the ever dependable Peter Parker-lingam (Gerald). Unluckily, I couldn’t reach the dizzying heights of interjection because Brendan was all bones. I like my “behinds” meaty thank you very much! Hahahaha! No Kate Moss. No Oprah Winfrey. More like Kate Beckinsale in Pearl Harbor. Woohoo!

The next photo, seen here, will either leave you with a belly laugh, or start-off with a harrowing nightmare. I couldn’t resist the dead rat once again, and with time running out, I donned it once more. I’m telling you, this is gonna be the next big thing since sliced bread! Eat your heart out Macy Gray! Hahahaha!

Well, now that you’ve seen the slaphappy side of me, I hope that this blithesome blog will give you a new substance to life and perhaps some ideas of what to anticipate in the fashion world in the coming years. Remember, you seen it here first! Until the next shindig, have a wonderful weekend!

“Here’s the last man standing
Step right up, he’s the real thing
The last chance of a lifetime
Come and see, hear, feel … the real thing” Bon Jovi – Last Man Standing (Have a Nice Day, 2005)