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Marriage is Overrated
Yes my friends. The Asian culture has befuddled our thinking. Life on earth is comparatively short, so our Asian oldsters spook you into believing that you don’t want to be alone spending the rest of your years. Society has drummed into our heads that we “must” get married. What a load of wish-wash! You can live alone, and not be lonely. You can have a partner, and not be married. I know many couples who marry for the sake of marrying, and now are scrambling to pepper the cracks in the relationship that imperils their sacrament. I ALMOST feel sorry for them.
As humans age, they get tensed up and frantically look for partners to spend their lives with, simply because they’re petrified to be alone. These are the same people who spend their whole lives dreaming of a happily ever after. Bollocks! Close-minded thinking won’t get us anywhere. We need to loosen up and don’t get so high-strung. And by loosening up I mean, is to appreciate LIFE, to stop and smell the roses, which most of us fail to do. We don’t even bother trying.
Bottomline is, do what is right for you and do not live in fear of what might happen in the future. These days, people seem to have blanked out on marrying the RIGHT person for the RIGHT reasons. It’s dispiriting.
I’m not against marriage, but I think it’s overly hyped. A few people have questioned my beliefs, as to what will happen if I actually do find THE one? Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Unlike many of us, I don’t go looking for THAT bridge. I’ll be gallivanting around, experiencing life to its fullest. Try it for a change, it’s liberating. 
A happy marriage is supposed to multiply joys & divides grief.
But, it is so obvious these days that the opposite is happening in some marriages.
I have married friends who tells me “You’re so lucky. Enjoy your single life. Don’t get married. I wish I’m in your shoes.”
If that doesn’t deter me from saying I do, then I don’t know what will..
Had always wanted to do a post on this. LOL. Some Malaysians think that single people are just bitter and pathetic people… but really, we just live and let live. Single not by choice but because the right one hasn’t come along yet. I know some people who get married just because they wanna share to purchase a house…because economically wiser in terms of cost saving…and somejust have a partner to hv clean sex.
Fully agreed man. This is just about marriage. There’s a whole load of stuff that has been drilled into the kids mind nowadays as well. About having good grades the sole reason you have a childhood. You only need a piece of paper in order to be successful in career, life and relationship… what a load of crap. People need to go out and meet people!
Good post by the way.
LOL I love this post. You’ve basically taken out the absolute essence of my novel-in-progress (Daud In Distress – kinda self explanatory, isnt it). It’s amazing how many people out there find it hard – if not totally impossible – to believe that people who are single CAN be and ARE happy. If you’re into reading, get The Big Happy by Scott Mebus. It kinda goes with what you said in your post (and it’s a funny read too!)
I think the question is not whether someone is happier as a single individual or married couple. There’s always the case where people think the grass is greener at the other side. All you have to do is ask yourself.
This is very “debatable” or rather, personal preference.
actually there is a lot of thing to be consider, especially women who are aging as if you wish to have children, there are risk to older pregnancy.
starting a family gets you thinking longer into your future but there is sacrifice to it definately.
Dan, I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you. The right marriage is always, ALWAYS better than no marriage at all. It is bliss in a well, if people bother to make the trip to the well, throw in the bucket and pull like hell first. And in spite of the warts – and after a while, even because of the warts – it grow on you till you can’t even remember what life was like before it all happened.
That’s the right marriage.
Unfortunately, the reverse is also true: the wrong marriage seems to not be really worth the ink on the paper.
Whatever the reasons, it takes two people to totally commit to the cause, and go the distance, come hell or highwater. A strict ‘no exit door’ policy (which is why I totally agree with Catholic marriages). The nonsense we’re drilling into society these days (about needing to get married, no matter what… but if you don’t like it you can leave later)… now, that’s the problem there.
(Keropok is happily married, and adores his missus. We’re awaiting a package in 82 days!)
there was once, my friend asked me this weird question – Why do people get married? What are the advantages for man to get married? To get the other half to share the burden? Even not married also can share, so why married…?
He find no reasons for him to get married. I cant give him answer, becoz i m really speechless for these.
same as, i cant find a reason for not getting married also.
Why marry? and Why not?
I can see u live ur life happily, have no worries.
Hope you found your one!
p/s: Marriage could be a very challenging experience, try it.. Kakaka
well penned Gallivanter the great, i agree on your wisdom on marriage…not that i don’t believe in getting married to an angel, but and it just crap when the issue is forced down by a common majority that it is a must that one must get hitched…
or the idea of marriage is forced upon you by women who live by having expiration dates writen all over their foreheads… why cant it just be, when you find the right person you feel is right for you, to spend the remaining days of your mortal life be without the issues of expiration…
i guess the core root that drives the issue of marriage is due to this notion of a womans biological expiration.. (due respect to women) but mojority of the women i know seem to have date of expiration writen all over the forehead ….and damn that gives me the creeps
hehe luckily my angel does not know my pen name or am dead
i want to debate the notion that women have to get married quickly so they they don’t get pregnant old. women are not baby factories, you know, and that is a sexist excuse for women to get married early. some people tell women all that jazz about easier conception la, healthier children la, more kids la… and just like that, put pressure on girls to get married early. well, its high time that these people back off and consider her for a moment. she wants to live life too. marriage is SOOOOOOOOO overrated.
AND WOMEN WITH EXPIRATION DATES?!!! is that all what girls are here for? to be used before she expires? and what if she chooses out of her own free will not to rush into marriage or not to be pressured into it by such things as biology?
someone think of the children!
I shall print this post out and use it as my defence when I go around collecting Ang Pows this coming CNY.
Firstly, as married people should not say “Single people are losers” I think single people should not say “marriage is over-rated.” I think if singles don’t want to be looked at negatively saying negative things about marriage is not the answer.
Secondly, transcending from labelling concepts with judgement, I think the most important thing a person should ask themselves is “What is the reason for wanting to choose Door A (single) or Door B (marriage).” I believe the intention is the determinant of happiness. No matter how good it may look to society or how bad it may look to society, if a choice is made with the wrong intentions the end result wil inevitably be negative. I STRONGLY believe in that.
I think people should just let go of all stigma associated to being single or being married. It’s fun to be single and it’s fulfilling to be married but if you attach stigma or make the choice to be at that situation for the wrong reasons (for example insecurities) this will not only make being single a lonesome experience, being married a suffocating experience, it can change you as a person in a negative way.
So NO marriage is NOT over-rated, being single is NOT a negative situation, I think everyone should start thinking that way so they can be free from negative thoughts that distracts them from the good stuff that is probably just under their nose but just couldn’t see due to the negative haze.
Women and their Biological expiration dates…it’s sad and unfair because men could be 100 years old and their little tadpoles could swim up any aged female gateway but for women, it really does stales.
I don’t know about other women but I know that before I met my bf I promised myself that I am not going to get freaked out by society’s pressure on women to get married. And I didn’t. I told myself that if I didn’t find someone and I really really wanted kids, I could if I wanted to without getting married. My parents will probably scream “Sinner” and pebble me with tiny little stones but I vowed not to marry for the wrong reasons. I almost did a few times and I am so glad my brains were working properly during those moments.
Where would I be right now if I did succumb?
Once I felt free from obligation, I saw life and relationships differently.
That is the best feeling in the world!
well, no right or wrong , but is very individual. most important is u know wat u r doing and why being together.
as long as appreciate life like wat u say…
Thank you all for your lengthy yet worthy comments. I’m not gonna try to reply to each and every one of you. To those of you who disagree, I guess you have your points…NOT!
I don’t know, don’t care and don’t want to know. All I want to do is live life by its days and enjoy the carefree life I have. So what being single? We can do a hell lots of crazy things and not be responsible to anyone… single doesn’t mean loner or antisocial… what’s with getting married and then complaining and all that crap really? Marriage is fckload lifelong commitment you have to share with someone you THINK is the right one… but then again, the other person is just like you; imperfect. Think before jumping into the fairytale wedding bandwagon… it could not be as perfect as you think. So everyone, be young, single and be ready to mingle
Btw, sir franklin gomez, you have stole the thunder yet again! Hats off!
Sorry Rudy, i have to quote from you
“So NO marriage is NOT over-rated, being single is NOT a negative situation”
I agree with this fully… and No … its not because i am married but becos in any situation if its for the wrong reasons it will never work whether your married or single
for me i think Sex is Overated… foreplay on the other hand is divine……
People who marry just for the sake of it, are making the biggest mistakes of their lives. You’d have to be in love to marry. Only then would something beautiful come out from it.
I was commitment phobic, and probably a small part of me still am. But if you meet the right person, your heart will just open up. It took years for my heart to open up. Just give yourself sometime
Marriage is not overhyped. It seems overhyped only when people get married just because they think it is a good idea at the time, and 3 years down the line they are phoning their divorce lawyers. People like Britney Spears ought to think about the above because she forgot to think about how to explain to her two kids in future why the hell their natural father is not around.
I did not get get married because I was lonely. It just happened. I am married now for 18 years, and I only realised it’s been 18 years already when I actually sat down and bang out the figures on a calculator. Mine is not a perfect marriage. No one’s ever is. But we work things out. There are good times and bad times and there were times we hate each other’s guts like hell, but in the end we are still together living life as it should be lived.
Sure, I could have lived with my wife without making the marriage official. But that will not be fair to our children and her in case something happens to me.
Marriage is never overhyped. It is how you view it and what you want from it.
Good write.
totally with you that marriage is overrated. people jumping of a plane would have more hesitation and rationalisation than most of em entering the attached circle these days.
The days of ‘total acceptance’ of another as in the (g)
olden days of arranged marriages does not apply anymore. Hence the rising number of crumbled/ing marriages.
A shorcut society we have become.
Wanna get a PR?Get married.
Wanna shut nosy parents and relatives up? Get married.
Want financial security? Get a husband.
Want a free maid? Get a wife.
Want a kid? Get married.
Oops, I’m gonna have a kid. Get married.
Suddenly doesn’t feel right? D I V O R C E
Perhaps the remote control and the toaster can be blamed.
AMEN to this post.
We’ve been befuddled by a lot of things
There’s just so many you shouldn’t does
I don’t have anything against marriage but the number of ppl who compromise for the sake of saying they’re married is astonishing –
to me its desperate measures if you’re willing to compromise
I don’t think ppl realize the burden marriage can be – ure linking urself financially, it’s a huge legal procedure, and then theres the emotions and families – yikes I have no idea how ppl are willing to risk their lives in so much unnecessary tangle
Bottomline is, do what is right for you and do not live in fear of what might happen in the future. These days, people seem to have blanked out on marrying the RIGHT person for the RIGHT reasons.
– this is 100% true
I love this. I have been with someone for almost ten years now minus a marriage. The fact that either of us could leave at any time and haven’t yet says a whole lot. If he does find someone “better” it will probably be because the other person IS better…for him, or that we just outgrew each other. I will NEVER marry and I will NEVER be ashamed of being alone if that ever happens. Alone isn’t the same as lonely. I have the most amazing friends, some married, some not. As long as I have my friends and family I can never be alone!