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Can One ever Remain Friends with an Ex?
I don’t think so.
There is no such thing as a mutual breakup. One is usually the heartbreaker, and that person usually feels very bad and provides friendship in return as a peace offering.
OK, here are some reasons why you can never remain friends with your ex. Firstly, you’ve seen each other in the nude, thus there is a small chance of casual sex occurring after the relationship ends, but your relationship can never return to normality or fix itself through copulation. You intimate memories with that person will be etched in your mind forever. So, for the sake of your current other half, you should remove them from your friends list, contact details, everything. Stop being thick skinned thinking that it’s purely over and friendship can survive out of this. That’s BS.
You also may think that remaining friends is a form of security for you, to get their blessing of sorts, to continue with your life, knowing that your ex is supporting you emotionally on this. This is a false sense of security.
Can Remain Friends With Ex?
Passion still exist between the 2 of you, despite the fact that your relationship ended like the Titanic, unless the lack of passion was the sole reason of the breakup. Please bear in mind this is nothing but a recipe for disaster, trying to bonk each other for old times’ sake, as it messes up with you emotionally and returns you back to the unwanted state you were in earlier at the height of the breakup.
It’s best to move on, stop being friends, there are so many friendships you can build out there, why hang on to something that emotionally has damaged you (remember – it’s a breakup!).
Of course ideally, I think all of us wants to remain friends and hope friendship survives. But, we’re living in a real world, so it’s best to leave your ex behind and the memories too, to begin a new chapter with your new life and relationship. After all, your current other half deserves better.
depends how the breakup went…if it’s in the so called ‘mutual’ or ‘good’ way to put it, next time he would just be ‘someone I knew’ kind of person whenever I meet him anywhere..if otherwise, I wouldn’t want to even laid my eyes on him..call me selfish or emo or whatever, staying friends with an ex is impossible – best to keep it neutral (not friends nor strangers), or someone that I don’t wish to meet, ever.
I agree with you.
No matter how and what way we try to fool ourselves by trying to remain friends with the Ex under any circumstances…it will never ever work.
Never! Well in my case la. I just can’t be friends with people I’ve already hate.
Just like the song by Lobo, “Don’t Expect Me To Be Your Friend”.
Can still be friends though, via Facebook! LOL
omg. i’ve just had this issue discussed last night.
there’s a lot i have to say about this but bikin malas pula so i just agree with you on this…
“But, we’re living in a real world, so it’s best to leave your ex behind and the memories too, to begin a new chapter with your new life and relationship. After all, your current other half deserves better.”
yes and no depends on how you define friend and how deep is your relatioship.
Your reason here on why we should not be friends with our ex is because it wont be fair to our current other half. What if we are still solo without a ‘current other half’? Can we still be friends with them?
Personally I think it should be on what we think is best for US. Don’t always think about what is best for others, say your current other half or your ex or your dog or anything… Life is already so complicated… Don’t complicate it more. Just go with the flow and do what you think is best. Friendship should be fun, whether it comes from a stranger or an ex, being friends are suppose to be comforting and not ‘heart breaking’…
Cheers dude
I still remain very much a close friend with one of my exes….. it all depends how we look at the whole thing,,, if no bitter break-ups, why not, if you didn’t cheat on your exes,why not..
guess we are all adults, so problem of remaining friends with exes………have a great weekend
literally ones will say so but in reality, NOPE.
You’re right to all the above.
If you want to remain friends, then be distant friends. or seasonal friends.
no wonder my breakup never work huh.
errrr but i think its impossible for me
I think it is rather impossible for most and possible for small numbers of us…i’d say it depends on how the break up was…no one want to hate anyone for the rest of their life…we’re living in a wild reality world but of course we do trying to forgive and accept…the fact that your previous relationship didn’t work out was probably a blessing in disguise as what the saying goes…you have to kiss so many frog to get a prince?..it’s not possible with all the relationship you’ve gone through, you may could still ended up with frog…and it could also happen the first frog to be your prince…it’s a game of surviving…hence it’s back to the understanding of relationship life cycle…if 2 person understand this cycle…I’d say it could be possible to be friend with the other half but most likely we human tend to move away from understanding reality of one relationship could end up and could offer you…would you be the other half of your best friend?(keep in mind you’ve fell for her/him for quite sometimes and this kind of feeling that makes friend to be a best friend as you willingly to provide the ‘care’ regardless) you’d love to start a relationship with your best friend base on closeness and advantages of being together as friend for a long period (who wouldn’t believe it could work with these 2 already in place) but in the end it was a mistake and these 2 started to distance from each other or may not…the understanding of relationship itself could help determine one could accept the fact of breaking up and staying connected…its not who’s wrong and who’s right but it is likely about ‘we did that..and it was great opportunity..’ i believe both parties would have learned more about their selves..until they accept the fact it did happen although it was bitter..it wouldn’t be possible of exes being friends…temptation of previous moments together? well, it’s what I’d say few good memories that support the idea we’re just human and yes I did that..you did that..we did that..we didn’t realize it causes the relationship to fail yet it could be a moment you both will remember and laugh about when hanging up…oh yes..it would be between these 2 birds…if it leads to something else…it just tells me that the broke up was probably a mistake the 2 had made…one needs to understand between fault break up and no-fault break up…obviously fault break up would mean cheating or cruel treatment and no-fault break up might be irreconcilable differences (common for most of us now)….I’d say fault break up will have high possibility of not being friend (who would – we avoid problem) and this is understandable…no fault break up however is the sweet stuff..to this day, most influential reason could be career path and ‘people change’ situation…none to be blame though and the life after break up could sometimes make the relationship (or even life) become more meaningful as friend and exes…
NO WAY, NO HOW! the mere mention of being friends with my ex is making my skin crawls. i believe in ‘total absolution & closed case’ when it comes to a crumbled relationship.
I dunno, Im ok with my exs. We still talk & hangout. I think how the relationship was called off is very important…
It’s tough man. You will likely imagine her in the nude while talking to her.
AngelBear, deana, Merryn, eugene, wel, Julian Sabah – I’m sorry to break it to you guys, while I respect your opinions and maybe there are some exceptions, as there are always exceptions, you can never be friends with an ex. What is your POINT of being friends? For friendship? For reminiscing? Seriously? It’s called an “EX”, and no matter how stubborn you may be to keep the so-called friendship going, it’s not gonna go anywhere and you WILL be reminded of the past, NO DOUBT about it. Perhaps some of us are in denial.
Joan, massy, claire bennet, elcynthia, Coffee Girl, cicak, xin, WanderingSumandak, Christopher – EXACTLY. You have been enlightened. Hence the 2 school of thoughts in this case, but LOGICALLY, one should never be friends with an EX. Period.
I beg to differ Daniel. No doubt the person is an ‘Ex’ but he/she may be someone that knows you best, in and out after long period of being together. In a way, he was my best friend for the many years that we were in a relationship.
We have broken up, but we remained as fast friends. We have both seen each other through the worst and also the best. Its too much of a pity to let a failed love relationship destroying what can possibly be the best friendship ever created. Yes, we are even more closer now as friends than we were before while being in a relationship. I guess for all the negativity you mentioned in your post regarding being friends with an ex, they CAN be challenged, with a simple seven alphabet called Respect.
Oh! and…. Guess what? Our spouses are equally close friends too! Ü
Have a happy weekend.
CindyVazzy – I doubt it Cindy, respect is just one of the elements, but, in reality, the “negativities” that you say I mentioned, is real life. In an ideal world, I know all of us want world peace and to be friends with everyone, but in reality, an EX, should and must always remain in the past.