Tags
Related Posts
Share This
In Laws Survival Kit
I have survived the process of my in-laws accepting me as family. Here are some of my thoughts when you’re meeting your future in-laws, especially for the first time.
1. Being polite is important. Don’t be an arrogant showoff. Always respect them.
2. Always know that there will be cultural differences between the families, because of the different upbringing. Always leave your comfort zone and experience something new, like eating their favorite delicacy. Of course, don’t go over the top to please them and sacrifice your beliefs. Like me, I tried the local Sabahan dishes, and I liked Hinava the most. I never liked pork thus I stood my ground on that one.
3. Learn to chill. I know nervousness would be a common reaction, but let your personality shine through.
4. Of course, you have to show your in-laws how much you care for their son or daughter. Please don’t go over the top with public display of affection or calling names like Hunny Bunny or crap like that. Please respect them.
5. You will be judged by your in-laws, no doubt about it. But please know that the success of meeting them does not lean on the fact that you need their approval. You don’t. Being acknowledged is good enough.
6. Always be positive. Always look on the bright side. Each family have their own dirty linens to wash, so instead of adding your dirty underwear, become a positive influence on them.
First impression is important, but please ensure that you do not sacrifice your true personality too much. You just have to find a balance to make the necessary accommodations.
These are indeed good tips.
hey Dan. Do you mind if i share this piece to my man? this is very helpful yknow.. KL lad and Sarawak girl, totally different lifestyle.difft race and all. even different church believe..
thanks!
Rugi ko tida suka itu vogok Dan. :p
lol. well said well said. but practicing is all another matter eh?
but i do agree alot on your point #6. and i guess thts the ultimate survival skill under any condition
Totally agree with you – especially on the cultural differences part. My husband charmed my family when he willingly tried the local “jaruk” (preserved fish/meat with rice, you know it right?) and managed to swallow it with a straight face. Even I was bowled over because sia pun tidak pandai makan ni benda, ha!
Pointers 1 is indeed important, it helps break the ice and warms up chilly atmospheres very quickly… having a disrespectful partner towards your family members mirrors their capability of being disrespectful towards you as well in the long run.
I truthfully failed at this man.. Thanks for the tip.
One of the biggest barrier in my case is the language! I’m a Dusun and of course I can speak a little of my native language but the people on my gf’s side are hardcore Dusuns and speak their very own fast ‘Ranau slang’ that I can barely understand.
That is when her mother gave me the grin and say “oh.. tidak pandai cakap Dusun ka?”
U also marry the extended family which may be the whole kampung
tekkaus – It is.
dee – Go ahead.
chegu carol – Nope, not rugi, pork are the dirtiest creature.
xin – Of course, but it’s good to know though, as common sense is not too common these days.
Carol – OK, that “jaruk” sounds scary, but hey, I don’t mind trying anything new once except Durians and Pork meat.
naith_kk – Correcto.
cicak – Sweep her mom off her feet by giving her lots and lots of jewelry. Should do the trick!
Pinknpurplelizard – That is true. You have been “tribed”.
abang, awak punya layout baru buat saya confused la
yo..susah sia mau baca …kena click on simpson family baru datang sini ler….
wei, got more tips ar…ini macam general aje….got more or not?
philters – Aiya, it’s just a matter of getting used to. No more sidebars! I love this theme.
tihtahpah – Yup, click to see inside la, aisay.
More tips, eh, I survived with the tips here. You have demanding in-laws? 
*distracted from commenting.
Wuish blog layout change. I was looking for the comment box on the left side OMG *facepalming. Little that I know that it’s on the right now. LOL.
Anyways, yes, 1st impression is important. Heck, this scares me a lot. I though have never experience this but this is a creepy experience. I’m not that gewd with ppl @_@ orz.
I agreed with your number 1. When I was with my x, he invited me to his family gathering for the first time. I was born rough naturally, but I really have to change a bit to be somehow polite, I was happy being polite and I was happily accepted to the family. But it’s all memories now. But the point of being polite and not show off is crucial no matter what.